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February 21, 2026
  • “Unfortunately, We Had Many Qualified Candidates,” Sings A Capella Group At 2am Outside Your Window
  • Coefficient of Kinetic Friction Between You and Gray Slush Says Eat Shit Nerd
  • Bing Chilling? February Break Spent Celebrating Chinese New Year In Auspicious Binghamton Getaway
  • “Close Enough” Match Pairs Hundreds of Proximity-Based Situationships
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  • “Unfortunately, We Had Many Qualified Candidates,” Sings A Capella Group At 2am Outside Your Window

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  • Coefficient of Kinetic Friction Between You and Gray Slush Says Eat Shit Nerd

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  • Bing Chilling? February Break Spent Celebrating Chinese New Year In Auspicious Binghamton Getaway

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  • “Close Enough” Match Pairs Hundreds of Proximity-Based Situationships

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Bitch Mom Telling Daughter to Come Home Because of Global Pandemic

Nooz Staff6 years ago6 years ago03 mins

COLLEGETOWN – Amidst growing concerns over COVID-19 and the unrest caused by the current Pandemic, Jessica Springer, ‘22, has reportedly been told to come home by her shrewish, insufferable bitch of a mother.  In the past week, the Cornell community has seen classes indefinitely suspended, events of more than fifty people banned, and at the…

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