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March 13, 2026
  • CTB Declares War on Qahwah House, Fires 300 Espresso Shots
  • Wikipedia Page of Esteemed Professor Currently Flunking You Not Even, Like, That Long
  • “These Hands Don’t Haze!” Says Frat President Who Used Legs to Kick Shit Out of Pledges
  • Half-Assed Discussion Post Setting Dangerous Precedent For Rest of Semester
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  • CTB Declares War on Qahwah House, Fires 300 Espresso Shots

    3 hours ago3 hours ago
  • Wikipedia Page of Esteemed Professor Currently Flunking You Not Even, Like, That Long

    1 day ago1 day ago
  • “These Hands Don’t Haze!” Says Frat President Who Used Legs to Kick Shit Out of Pledges

    1 day ago1 day ago
  • Half-Assed Discussion Post Setting Dangerous Precedent For Rest of Semester

    2 days ago2 days ago
  • Local Jester Actually Prefers Fool’s Spring

    3 days ago3 days ago
  • Frolicking Squirrel Thinks It’s Funny You Bombed That Prelim

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  • Goldman Sachs

Goldman Sachs

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Dyson Junior Networks Too Hard, Marries Goldman Sachs Recruiter

Nooz Staff7 years ago02 mins

SAGE CHAPEL—After schmoozing with Goldman Sachs recruiter Meredith Hook at a company information session last Thursday, Zackary Chase ‘20 found himself in a marriage engagement, rather than landing a prestigious job as he originally intended. “When I handed her my resume and she saw my 2.79 GPA, I thought I was done for,” said Chase,…

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Goldman Sachs Resume Sorting Algorithm Totally into Hiking Too

Nooz Staff7 years ago7 years ago02 mins

198.58.106.214—AEM Junior Todd McKleary recently struck a chord with the robot responsible for sorting resumes submitted to Goldman Sachs after it was discovered the two share an interest in hiking. The algorithm, licensed by Goldman Sachs from UK-based system provider Oleeo, has been ranking resumes for nearly half a decade and is reportedly happy to…

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