Kathy Zoner

Masked, Crowbar-Wielding Kathy Zoner Leaves Force to Take Matters Into Own Hands

Nooz Staff7 years ago7 years ago03 mins

HO PLAZA—After repurposing a black satin curtain and a crowbar from the trunk of her ’97 Ford convertible, longtime police chief Kathy Zoner has left the Cornell Police force to take matters into her own hands. Zoner’s intensity has only seemed to increase since her resignation, and many students are still adapting to the crowbar-wielding…

To Increase Trust With Students, CUPD Will Now Snapchat Every Arrest It Makes

Nooz Staff9 years ago9 years ago02 mins

DAY HALL — Following increased calls for transparency, CUPD has decided that in addition to using body cameras, it will Snapchat every arrest it makes in an attempt to gain the trust of the Cornell community. Under the handle “coolcopz”, Cornell’s finest will keep their Snapstory updated with a constant feed of misdemeanors and faceswaps…

Guy Still Wearing Cayuga Med Wristband Monday After Halloweekend Really Wants You to Ask What Happened

Instant Ramen Instructions Detail How To Burn Noodles, Pull Fire Alarm, Act Confused

Kotlikoff Claims “You Can Fit A Turkey Up There”, Vague About What “There” Means

“Next Stop, Binghamton!” OurBus Trip Goes South

EDITORIAL: Please God, Let The Daily Sun Go Bankrupt So We Can Buy Them

“Consider a Man’s Life Situated on a Frictionless, Downward Plane”: Physics Professor Not Handling His Divorce Well

Masked, Crowbar-Wielding Kathy Zoner Leaves Force to Take Matters Into Own Hands

To Increase Trust With Students, CUPD Will Now Snapchat Every Arrest It Makes