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March 13, 2026
  • Wikipedia Page of Esteemed Professor Currently Flunking You Not Even, Like, That Long
  • “These Hands Don’t Haze!” Says Frat President Who Used Legs to Kick Shit Out of Pledges
  • Half-Assed Discussion Post Setting Dangerous Precedent For Rest of Semester
  • Local Jester Actually Prefers Fool’s Spring
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  • Wikipedia Page of Esteemed Professor Currently Flunking You Not Even, Like, That Long

    13 hours ago13 hours ago
  • “These Hands Don’t Haze!” Says Frat President Who Used Legs to Kick Shit Out of Pledges

    14 hours ago14 hours ago
  • Half-Assed Discussion Post Setting Dangerous Precedent For Rest of Semester

    2 days ago2 days ago
  • Local Jester Actually Prefers Fool’s Spring

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  • Frolicking Squirrel Thinks It’s Funny You Bombed That Prelim

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  • Dumb Idiot Bunny Rabbit Doesn’t Know It About to Get Cold Again

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Nasties

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Nasties Features French Menu to Boost Dining Ratings

Nooz Staff9 years ago02 mins

LES NÉCESSITÉS DE L’OURS— Responding to a lower ranking on the latest college dining reviews, the culinary team behind the counter at Nasties decided to rewrite the menu entirely in French to boost their ratings. “It’s the same old Nasties we know and love, just organized a little differently with classics like our bâtonnets de…

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Sam. SAM. SAAAAAM Comes to Counter at Nasties After Six Hours

Nooz Staff9 years ago9 years ago01 mins

BEAR NECESSITIES — Finally taking off his headphones, freshman HEY IS THERE A SAM HERE? came to the Nasties counter last night to pick up his chicken tenders six hours after they were first ready. After about fifteen minutes of calling from the Nasties screamer, the other students in the grill began a series of…

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