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Dyson Junior Networks Too Hard, Marries Goldman Sachs Recruiter

Nooz Staff7 years ago02 mins

SAGE CHAPEL—After schmoozing with Goldman Sachs recruiter Meredith Hook at a company information session last Thursday, Zackary Chase ‘20 found himself in a marriage engagement, rather than landing a prestigious job as he originally intended. “When I handed her my resume and she saw my 2.79 GPA, I thought I was done for,” said Chase,…

Freshman Unsure Which Washing Machine Full of Cornell T-Shirts is Hers

Nooz Staff7 years ago01 mins

LOW RISE 6—Freshman Rachel Xiong’s first attempt at doing laundry since coming to college was brought to a halt yesterday after she could not determine which load of red and gray Cornell t-shirts belonged to her. “It’s a complete disaster. I put all my clothes in there—Arts and Sciences T-shirts for daily wear, Big Red…

“Quiet, Piggy!”: Donald Trump Denounces Consumption of Pork in Attempt to Impress Zohran Mamdani

Trump: ABC Reporter Lucky She Not Sawed Up in Saudi Embassy

Cornell Daily Sun Renamed Cornell Daily Rain Sleet Hail Snow

Report: Syracuse Airport Has City, Too

Wings Over Ithaca Competitor “Wings Over Crete” Sees Sharp Plummet in Sales

Kotlikoff Not Sure This Best Time To Redeem Newly Acquired Mar-A-Lago Flight Voucher

Dyson Junior Networks Too Hard, Marries Goldman Sachs Recruiter

Freshman Unsure Which Washing Machine Full of Cornell T-Shirts is Hers