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Mama’s Cleverest Boy Stumped by Strange Clothes-Washing Machine
Cornell Republican Sheds Red Nose and Polka Dot Romper, Slinks into Suit for Rare ClubFest Metamorphosis
English Department Receives $12 Grant
Level B ‘Underage Tuesdays’ Sees Commercial Success, Legal Ramifications
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Mama’s Cleverest Boy Stumped by Strange Clothes-Washing Machine
Cornell Republican Sheds Red Nose and Polka Dot Romper, Slinks into Suit for Rare ClubFest Metamorphosis
English Department Receives $12 Grant
Level B ‘Underage Tuesdays’ Sees Commercial Success, Legal Ramifications
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • CU NoozMagazine
    • Spring 2026 Issue
    • Spring 2025 Issue
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
Headlines

Mama’s Cleverest Boy Stumped by Strange Clothes-Washing Machine

5 days ago5 days ago

Cornell Republican Sheds Red Nose and Polka Dot Romper, Slinks into Suit for Rare ClubFest Metamorphosis

6 days ago6 days ago

English Department Receives $12 Grant

6 days ago6 days ago

Level B ‘Underage Tuesdays’ Sees Commercial Success, Legal Ramifications

7 days ago7 days ago

Birder Actually Not Sure About That One

1 week ago1 week ago

Professor Spices Up Syllabus With Jokes Like “Attendance is Mandatory”

2 weeks ago6 days ago

Outfit Shabby Enough to Do Work in Math Library Today

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

Super Seniors Devastated to Learn of “No Game” in Freshman Dorms

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

Worst Guy You Know Looking For Manic Pixie Tylenol Users

12 months ago12 months ago

Wasian Student Association To Host Mixer

12 months ago7 months ago
  • Home
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  • 19

February 19, 2014

  • Uncategorized

Student Assembly Vice President Connivingly Narrates All of Her Actions Out Loud

Nooz Staff13 years ago13 years ago01 mins

ITHACA, NY – In an action that has confused friends and family alike, Student Assembly vice president Sarah Balik has begun reasoning all of her thoughts out loud, often employing obscure metaphors. “The thing about swine is that they always seem to love the muck they live in. Why wouldn’t they? It’s all they know….

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