February 19, 2014

Headlines

OP-ED: You And I Both Know Our Construction Team Can’t Handle Building A Pathway In Ezra’s Tunnel
9 years ago9 years ago
Student Who Bleeds Big Red Sadly Returns Latest Nike Shoes
9 years ago
Report: Holy Shit, It’s Wednesday
9 years ago9 years ago
Student at Summer Internship Drops Fourth Hint of Day That He Goes to Cornell
10 years ago
Professors Notice Increase in Student Motivation To Be the Very Best, Like No One Ever Was
10 years ago10 years ago
Report: 10:10 Lecture Fills Up Too Quickly and Oh Boo Hoo You Sad Fucks
10 years ago10 years ago

Student Assembly Vice President Connivingly Narrates All of Her Actions Out Loud

Nooz Staff12 years ago12 years ago02 mins

ITHACA, NY – In an action that has confused friends and family alike, Student Assembly vice president Sarah Balik has begun reasoning all of her thoughts out loud, often employing obscure metaphors. “The thing about swine is that they always seem to love the muck they live in. Why wouldn’t they? It’s all they know….

OP-ED: You And I Both Know Our Construction Team Can’t Handle Building A Pathway In Ezra’s Tunnel

Student Who Bleeds Big Red Sadly Returns Latest Nike Shoes

Report: Holy Shit, It’s Wednesday

Student at Summer Internship Drops Fourth Hint of Day That He Goes to Cornell

Professors Notice Increase in Student Motivation To Be the Very Best, Like No One Ever Was

Report: 10:10 Lecture Fills Up Too Quickly and Oh Boo Hoo You Sad Fucks

Student Assembly Vice President Connivingly Narrates All of Her Actions Out Loud