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April 8, 2026
  • Heartwarming! Cornell Sun Writer Not Sure What “News” Is, Publishes Article About Their Tuesday
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  • Heartwarming! Cornell Sun Writer Not Sure What “News” Is, Publishes Article About Their Tuesday

    43 minutes ago43 minutes ago
  • He is Risen! Student Who Spent Spring Break in Alcoholic Stupor Miraculously Attends 9 AM Lecture

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  • “What Are You Talking About? Slope Day Just Happened”: Administration Tries New Tactic After Failing to Source Replacement Artist

    11 months ago
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September 3, 2014

  • Cornell

Lab of Ornithology Closes After Scientists Learn Everything About Birds

Nooz Staff12 years ago02 mins

In a statement released last Monday, The Cornell Lab of Ornithology announced that its researchers have learned everything there is to know about birds and would be shutting down all operations indefinitely. “Birds are very simple creatures. We know that their hollow bones and feathers help them fly, and that they use their beaks to…

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  • Cornell

OP-ED: Welcome to Cornell! I’m the Sheriff ‘Round These Parts

Nooz Staff12 years ago04 mins

By Cornell Police Chief Kathy Zoner Howdy partner! I didn’t see you wander into town. Nice day for it though…mighty nice day. Whelp, since you’re new here I figured I’d introduce myself and let you know that I’m the sheriff ‘round these parts. No cause for alarm, stranger!  If you don’t start any trouble we…

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