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February 25, 2026
  • A.D. White Professor-At-Large Finally Apprehended
  • Student Assembly Threatens Competence
  • “Unfortunately, We Had Many Qualified Candidates,” Sings A Capella Group At 2am Outside Your Window
  • Coefficient of Kinetic Friction Between You and Gray Slush Says Eat Shit Nerd
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  • A.D. White Professor-At-Large Finally Apprehended

    5 hours ago5 hours ago
  • Student Assembly Threatens Competence

    1 day ago1 day ago
  • “Unfortunately, We Had Many Qualified Candidates,” Sings A Capella Group At 2am Outside Your Window

    6 days ago6 days ago
  • Coefficient of Kinetic Friction Between You and Gray Slush Says Eat Shit Nerd

    1 week ago1 week ago
  • Bing Chilling? February Break Spent Celebrating Chinese New Year In Auspicious Binghamton Getaway

    1 week ago1 week ago
  • “Close Enough” Match Pairs Hundreds of Proximity-Based Situationships

    2 weeks ago2 weeks ago
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September 3, 2014

  • Cornell

Lab of Ornithology Closes After Scientists Learn Everything About Birds

Nooz Staff11 years ago02 mins

In a statement released last Monday, The Cornell Lab of Ornithology announced that its researchers have learned everything there is to know about birds and would be shutting down all operations indefinitely. “Birds are very simple creatures. We know that their hollow bones and feathers help them fly, and that they use their beaks to…

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  • Cornell

OP-ED: Welcome to Cornell! I’m the Sheriff ‘Round These Parts

Nooz Staff11 years ago04 mins

By Cornell Police Chief Kathy Zoner Howdy partner! I didn’t see you wander into town. Nice day for it though…mighty nice day. Whelp, since you’re new here I figured I’d introduce myself and let you know that I’m the sheriff ‘round these parts. No cause for alarm, stranger!  If you don’t start any trouble we…

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