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March 19, 2026
  • Lab Partner Swears “It Feels Better Without Gloves”
  • Op-Ed: My Candle Ritual Would Have Made My Situationship Like Me Back If the Fire Inspection Guys Hadn’t Confiscated It
  • Student at Palantir Event Offended By Implication They Support Palantir
  • Short Ginger Friend Hides Box of Edibles at End of Rainbow
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  • Lab Partner Swears “It Feels Better Without Gloves”

    23 hours ago23 hours ago
  • Op-Ed: My Candle Ritual Would Have Made My Situationship Like Me Back If the Fire Inspection Guys Hadn’t Confiscated It

    2 days ago2 days ago
  • Student at Palantir Event Offended By Implication They Support Palantir

    2 days ago2 days ago
  • Short Ginger Friend Hides Box of Edibles at End of Rainbow

    5 days ago5 days ago
  • “It’s 6 O’clock Somewhere”: Upperclassman Begs to Not Pay Bus Fare

    6 days ago6 days ago
  • CTB Declares War on Qahwah House, Fires 300 Espresso Shots

    6 days ago6 days ago
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September 3, 2014

  • Cornell

Lab of Ornithology Closes After Scientists Learn Everything About Birds

Nooz Staff12 years ago02 mins

In a statement released last Monday, The Cornell Lab of Ornithology announced that its researchers have learned everything there is to know about birds and would be shutting down all operations indefinitely. “Birds are very simple creatures. We know that their hollow bones and feathers help them fly, and that they use their beaks to…

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  • Cornell

OP-ED: Welcome to Cornell! I’m the Sheriff ‘Round These Parts

Nooz Staff12 years ago04 mins

By Cornell Police Chief Kathy Zoner Howdy partner! I didn’t see you wander into town. Nice day for it though…mighty nice day. Whelp, since you’re new here I figured I’d introduce myself and let you know that I’m the sheriff ‘round these parts. No cause for alarm, stranger!  If you don’t start any trouble we…

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