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Throbbing Hangover Headache Met With 7:45 A.M. Clocktower Rendition of “Here Comes The Sun”
“You Know, Too Much Sleep Is Actually Bad For You,” Student Tells Person-Shaped Bush
“Yeah I Was in the Hood,” Says Rich White Biology Student Misleadingly Talking About Fume Hood
Inconsiderate Asshole With No Concept of Personal Space Sits Within 5 Seats of You in Lecture Hall
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Throbbing Hangover Headache Met With 7:45 A.M. Clocktower Rendition of “Here Comes The Sun”
“You Know, Too Much Sleep Is Actually Bad For You,” Student Tells Person-Shaped Bush
“Yeah I Was in the Hood,” Says Rich White Biology Student Misleadingly Talking About Fume Hood
Inconsiderate Asshole With No Concept of Personal Space Sits Within 5 Seats of You in Lecture Hall
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • CU NoozMagazine
    • Spring 2026 Issue
    • Spring 2025 Issue
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
Headlines

Throbbing Hangover Headache Met With 7:45 A.M. Clocktower Rendition of “Here Comes The Sun”

11 hours ago11 hours ago

“You Know, Too Much Sleep Is Actually Bad For You,” Student Tells Person-Shaped Bush

1 day ago1 day ago

“Yeah I Was in the Hood,” Says Rich White Biology Student Misleadingly Talking About Fume Hood

7 days ago7 days ago

Inconsiderate Asshole With No Concept of Personal Space Sits Within 5 Seats of You in Lecture Hall

1 week ago1 week ago

Inhabitants of Local Valley Starting to Regret Construction of Hole-in-the-wall Restaurant in Hydroelectric Dam

1 week ago1 week ago
matty van hooty

Tompkins County DA Relieved to Go Back to Dismissing Other Cases

1 week ago1 week ago

Kotlikoff Also Wondering What Action Cornell Administration Will Take

1 week ago1 week ago

Splitsies! Group Assignment Done By Just You

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

CUPD Claims K-9 Ate Report

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

Biology Major Stressed About Answers to Pre-Limbs 

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago
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September 29, 2015

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Pre-Med Worried GPA Not High Enough to Get into Top Tier Heaven

Nooz Staff11 years ago11 years ago01 mins

After sending out dozens of applications over the past month, Christina Walkerman ’16 is currently realizing that her cumulative GPA may not be high enough to grant her admission to a top-tier afterlife. “I’ve done the community service, internships, and got a great score on the MCAT, but it’s my grades that I’m concerned about,”…

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