RPCC PARKING LOT—Reports indicate that west-facing residents of High Rise 5 awoke to what was supposed to be a choir’s serenade at approximately 1:57am Wednesday night. Many students sleepily stumbled towards their windows to witness a local A Capella group set up microphones and a speaker to inform prospective members of their application status.
Bystanders report that in harmonious unison, the group performed a song, which included heartfelt and genuine lyrics such as, “This year’s applicant pool was the strongest in our history,” and, “We wish a different decision had been possible.”
However, not all of the audience was grateful for the award-winning group’s performance. Michelle Shen ’29 said, “I really needed a good night of sleep. I was sick and I had a prelim worth 99% of my grade on Thursday. But when the harpies started screeching without a backing track, I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep any more that night.”
The event concluded around 2:19am, which was in no way related to the arrival of a squadron of police cars that subsequently arrested a dozen students for underaged drinking at 2:20am.
“To be honest, I slept right through it,” said Clarice Coles ’29, the group’s target. “I actually got into my first choice and got wasted at their welcome party.”
