RAND HALL—After two years of covering the broken window in Rand Hall with a tarp, Cornell AAP recently announced their plan to patch the hole with a fine arts library. “We thought the best solution to the constant airflow seeping through the building’s tarp would be to build a cutting edge fine arts library,” said…
THURSTON AVENUE—Cornell Panhellenic has announced the addition of a 14th chapter for students who are looking to join a sorority, but terminate their membership after a year. “I am very interested because I have always wanted to live in a fancy house, but ditch before I have to drown myself in paint and glitter to…
HO PLAZA—A guy who never goes to things is currently aggressively quarter-carding on Ho Plaza, trying to get you to buy tickets to his things. “I’ve been so busy preparing for my things that I wasn’t able to go to your thing. I’ll be sure to go to your thing next semester unless I’m busy…
So funding for Cornell Cinema is up in the air. I’m sure we’re all a little sad that we might not get to watch our favorite arthouse classics week after week if the Student Assembly and Administration don’t work out the funding, but hey, if worse comes to worst, now that Cornell’s biggest film viewing…
URIS HALL—This morning, during the 10:10 lecture for Intro to Cognitive Science, a single student sacrificed his class grade for a piece of pure comedy gold: Jamie McCannon ‘19 answered C on a True/False iClicker question, bringing the lecture hall to its knees in laughs. “I never thought there could be so much beauty in…
This post is sponsored by The Skits. Come see The Skits Present: Family Dinner, Friday, December 1st at 8:30pm in Statler auditorium. Tickets are $5 and available at www.theskits.com or by emailing skitscomedy@gmail.com STATLER AUDITORIUM—After a rousing comedy sketch show,classic friend group jokester Freddie Huang ‘18 reported that, in his own honest opinion, he “could’ve…
BINGHAMTON, NY— This Thanksgiving break, Gwen Swanson ’20 basked in praise from relatives gathered together for Thanksgiving, trying to ignore the fact that she is failing CS 1110: Introduction to Computing Using Python. “Our little Gwenny is always so brilliant and hardworking and a true renaissance woman,” said Swanson’s great-aunt Bertha. “Where else are you…
Thanksgiving Break is often a stressful time full of personality clashes and ideological disagreements. Here are CU Nooz’s tips for surviving! Offer to breed, raise, slaughter, clean, and roast the turkey to avoid spending time with distant cousins. Communicate only through memes to show your great aunt that your thoughts and feelings are in fact…
WEST CAMPUS—Last Thursday, the cooks at Hans Bethe House tried their best and offered up a flavorless take on a dish with deep cultural roots. The dining hall staff was confident that, after about fifteen minutes of looking up empanada recipes, they could accurately deliver a cultural staple that has been perfected over generations all…
LYNAH RINK—Following the Men’s Hockey team’s invigorating win against Harvard last week, the team is now ranked #6 in the NCAA, while the #7 Women’s Hockey team trains players who may move on to the 2018 Pyeongchang Winter Olympics. “It was a great game last week, right?” said Men’s Hockey player Dave Molowski ‘18. “Hearing…
