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March 13, 2026
  • Wikipedia Page of Esteemed Professor Currently Flunking You Not Even, Like, That Long
  • “These Hands Don’t Haze!” Says Frat President Who Used Legs to Kick Shit Out of Pledges
  • Half-Assed Discussion Post Setting Dangerous Precedent For Rest of Semester
  • Local Jester Actually Prefers Fool’s Spring
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  • “These Hands Don’t Haze!” Says Frat President Who Used Legs to Kick Shit Out of Pledges

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  • Half-Assed Discussion Post Setting Dangerous Precedent For Rest of Semester

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Brain Damage

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Cornell Football Player Drafted to NFL Proves that Coaches Should Be Tested for Brain Damage Too

Nooz Staff2 years ago02 mins

SCHOELLKOPF FIELD—Last week, a Cornell alumni was drafted to the NFL during the league’s 2024 draft. Following the development, NFL health scientists have begun to test coaches for brain damage too. “We found significant lapses in judgment within the upper cortex of our coach, John Ray,” said Dr. Flora Norman, a concussion specialist for the…

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