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March 13, 2026
  • Wikipedia Page of Esteemed Professor Currently Flunking You Not Even, Like, That Long
  • “These Hands Don’t Haze!” Says Frat President Who Used Legs to Kick Shit Out of Pledges
  • Half-Assed Discussion Post Setting Dangerous Precedent For Rest of Semester
  • Local Jester Actually Prefers Fool’s Spring
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  • Wikipedia Page of Esteemed Professor Currently Flunking You Not Even, Like, That Long

    15 hours ago15 hours ago
  • “These Hands Don’t Haze!” Says Frat President Who Used Legs to Kick Shit Out of Pledges

    16 hours ago16 hours ago
  • Half-Assed Discussion Post Setting Dangerous Precedent For Rest of Semester

    2 days ago2 days ago
  • Local Jester Actually Prefers Fool’s Spring

    3 days ago3 days ago
  • Frolicking Squirrel Thinks It’s Funny You Bombed That Prelim

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Concerts

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OP-ED: If You Were Really My Friend, You Wouldn’t Make Me Go to Your A Cappella Concert

Nooz Staff3 years ago3 years ago03 mins

Approximately twice a year, many Cornellians must rethink some of their life decisions. This often occurs at the end of the semester, and is often centered around their friendships with people in a cappella groups. But recently, I’ve come to the conclusion that if these people were REALLY my friends, they would not ask me…

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Concert Commission: “This Jerkface Artist Canceled the Homecoming Concert We Definitely Planned”

Nooz Staff9 years ago9 years ago02 mins

A message from the Cornell Concert Commission We, the Cornell Concert Commission, regret to inform the Cornell community that the jerkface artist we scheduled to play at the homecoming concert we definitely planned canceled on us. We are as shocked as you are. We were very excited to announce that this very famous artist that…

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“Young Thug Is a Lyrical Genius,” Say Cornell English Professors

Nooz Staff10 years ago10 years ago02 mins

GOLDWIN SMITH HALL — Huddled around a laptop streaming Young Thug’s song F Cancer to fully understand the meaning of the rapper’s lyrics, English Professors discovered that the lyrics to his songs are a masterpiece of poetry, brilliantly summarizing the human condition. “Mr. Thug brilliantly works in themes of perseverance in the face of adversity…

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