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November 16, 2025
  • Pitch Black Pilgrimage Back Home From Hopeless Evening Prelim With Exodus of Fellow Screwups Most Camaraderie Your Shriveled Heart Has Felt in Years
  • Understaffed TSA Really Digging Deep To Meet Groping Quota
  • Nooz Explains: Trump–Kotlikoff Deal
  • E-Scooter Going Right, No, Left, No—
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Rising Senior’s Apartment Affordable Firetrap Only Ten Minute Walk From Olin

Nooz Staff9 years ago02 mins

COLLEGETOWN — Junior Jake Evans reported today that the apartment he’d be living in next year was, “An affordable place, close to campus, and virtually impossible to escape in the event of a fire or other emergency.” Chatting with friends over coffee, Evans mentioned that his apartment was likely to become “his tomb,” and that…

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