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November 26, 2025
  • “Just Happy to Help”: Dud Brother Unloads Dishwasher
  • “Quiet, Piggy!”: Donald Trump Denounces Consumption of Pork in Attempt to Impress Zohran Mamdani
  • Trump: ABC Reporter Lucky She Not Sawed Up in Saudi Embassy
  • Cornell Daily Sun Renamed Cornell Daily Rain Sleet Hail Snow
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  • Trump: ABC Reporter Lucky She Not Sawed Up in Saudi Embassy

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Big Red Football Repents on Yom Kippur for Defying G-d by Going 2-0

Nooz Staff2 years ago2 years ago03 mins

SCHOELLKOPF FIELD – Cornell football has just won their second game of the season to raise their record to an unbeaten 2-0, a rare feat for the idling ball club. Although this may seem like a welcome occasion for our student-athletes, some amongst the training staff are a bit wearier of what Cornell has accomplished….

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