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October 22, 2025
  • Cornell Announces “Raw Chicken Wednesdays” to Slim Down Large Freshman Class
  • Americans Defeat Fascism by Putting On Greatest Talent Show This Nation Has Ever Seen
  • Mamdani Debates Cuomo As World War I Flying Ace Curtis Sliwa Dogfights Infamous Red Baron
  • Pre-Annotated Library Book Tells Student Exactly What Important
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  • Cornell Announces “Raw Chicken Wednesdays” to Slim Down Large Freshman Class

    7 hours ago7 hours ago
  • Americans Defeat Fascism by Putting On Greatest Talent Show This Nation Has Ever Seen

    7 hours ago7 hours ago
  • Mamdani Debates Cuomo As World War I Flying Ace Curtis Sliwa Dogfights Infamous Red Baron

    2 days ago
  • Pre-Annotated Library Book Tells Student Exactly What Important

    5 days ago5 days ago
  • Professor Getting All Excited About Life’s Work Again

    6 days ago6 days ago
  • Cornell Health Boasts Selective 2% Acceptance Rate for 2025 Appointment Cycle

    1 week ago
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Physics Professor Real Fuckin’ Excited to Derive Some Equations Today

Nooz Staff4 years ago03 mins

ROCKEFELLER HALL—In a surprising display of enthusiasm for nine in the goddamn morning, Professor Brian Kennedy began his first lecture of the day by kicking down the lecture hall door and shouting at the top of his lungs, “It’s derivation time, baby!” The esteemed and tenured member of the physics department, fueled by his love…

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Professor Wants Everyone To Succeed Unless They’re Dumb

Nooz Staff7 years ago02 mins

KENNEDY HALL— After handing back her first set of prelims this semester, Linguistics Professor Margret Coleman took the opportunity to remind the class she was committed to helping every student in the class succeed, so long as they aren’t stupid. “I noticed some of you had trouble with certain key concepts on this exam. If…

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Trustee Meeting on Improving University Transparency Closed to Public

Nooz Staff7 years ago02 mins

DAY HALL—In response to mounting criticism, the Board of Trustees has announced to the Cornell community that their meeting to address the matter of insufficient university transparency will be closed to the public. “We would like to reiterate to the students, faculty, and staff who form the heart of this university that we are committed…

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