Breaking: The Lord Our God to Require Two-Factor Authentication to Enter the Kingdom of Heaven
PEARLY GATES–Accompanied by a choir of seraphim, the Ruler of the Universe broke over two thousand years of silence to announce that Duo Mobile will now be required to attain eternal paradise. “For too long, admittance to heaven or hell has depended on arbitrary and outdated criteria, such as inherent goodness, being gay, or doing…