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Friday, October 23, 2026
Vote of No Continence? Kotlikoff Shits Pants
Uris Hall Excited to Announce New 0 Ply Toilet Paper
“I’ll See You In Court”: Student Mistakes CKB Resident’s Invitation As Legal Threat
Morrison Stir-Fry Station Switches to Cup & Ball Scam for Food Pickup
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Vote of No Continence? Kotlikoff Shits Pants
Uris Hall Excited to Announce New 0 Ply Toilet Paper
“I’ll See You In Court”: Student Mistakes CKB Resident’s Invitation As Legal Threat
Morrison Stir-Fry Station Switches to Cup & Ball Scam for Food Pickup
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • CU NoozMagazine
    • Spring 2026 Issue
    • Spring 2025 Issue
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
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Vote of No Continence? Kotlikoff Shits Pants

11 hours ago11 hours ago

Uris Hall Excited to Announce New 0 Ply Toilet Paper

11 hours ago11 hours ago

“I’ll See You In Court”: Student Mistakes CKB Resident’s Invitation As Legal Threat

1 day ago1 day ago

Morrison Stir-Fry Station Switches to Cup & Ball Scam for Food Pickup

2 days ago2 days ago

Cornell President Warns Replacing President Would Harm Cornell, Cornell President

2 days ago2 days ago

Halloween Enthusiast Disappointed by Ithaca Wine & Spirits

6 days ago6 days ago

Throbbing Hangover Headache Met With 7:45 A.M. Clocktower Rendition of “Here Comes The Sun”

1 week ago1 week ago

“You Know, Too Much Sleep Is Actually Bad For You,” Student Tells Person-Shaped Bush

1 week ago1 week ago

“Yeah I Was in the Hood,” Says Rich White Biology Student Misleadingly Talking About Fume Hood

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

Inconsiderate Asshole With No Concept of Personal Space Sits Within 5 Seats of You in Lecture Hall

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago
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Food Science Major Desperately Looking For New Thing To Milk

Nooz Staff8 years ago01 mins

In an attempt to find the next big viscous drink craze for his thesis, Cornell Food Science major Todd Carmichael ‘18 has been desperately looking for a new thing to milk. “I mean, people have been milking cows, goats, even various nuts. There’s not many things left for a guy like me to milk around…

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