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July 14, 2025
  • Despotic Senior Declines to Answer Whether They’ll Seek Third Term as Club President
  • In Historic Show of Power, Student Assembly Votes to Politely Ask for More Power
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  • Construction Workers Declare Occupation Of Libe Slope As Clock Tower Fences Expand Into New Territory
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  • Slope Day

Slope Day Commission Elects New Set Of Martyrs

Nooz Staff2 years ago10 months ago03 mins

WILLARD STRAIGHT HALL—Following the mass ostracization of last year’s Slope Day Programming Board, an entirely new set of victims, officially known as “members,” needed to be found. Fortunately, a group of students willing to impale themselves upon the unforgiving spear of dissatisfaction that is the student body have now been assembled.  “I shall relish in…

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