Skip to content
November 3, 2025
  • Instant Ramen Instructions Detail How To Burn Noodles, Pull Fire Alarm, Act Confused
  • Only Minority in Friend Group Already Knows Who She Going to Be
  • Ambitious Group Project Member Needs To Take The Fucking Hint
  • Motivational Message Etched Into Library Desk Undermined By Penis Right Beneath It
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
  • CU NoozMagazine | Spring 2025 Issue
Headlines
  • Instant Ramen Instructions Detail How To Burn Noodles, Pull Fire Alarm, Act Confused

    1 day ago1 day ago
  • Kotlikoff Claims “You Can Fit A Turkey Up There”, Vague About What “There” Means

    11 months ago11 months ago
  • “Next Stop, Binghamton!” OurBus Trip Goes South

    11 months ago11 months ago
  • EDITORIAL: Please God, Let The Daily Sun Go Bankrupt So We Can Buy Them

    11 months ago11 months ago
  • “Consider a Man’s Life Situated on a Frictionless, Downward Plane”: Physics Professor Not Handling His Divorce Well

    12 months ago12 months ago
  • Uh oh! Amelia Bedelia-like Friend to Bring “Hand-Stuffed Turkey” to Friendsgiving

    12 months ago12 months ago
  • Home
  • mcgraw tower

mcgraw tower

  • Construction

Brace Faced Nerd Clocktower to Wear Headgear All Summer

Nooz Staff2 years ago1 year ago02 mins

MCGRAW TOWER—Despite hoping for a fresh-faced, clean-toothed summer, McGraw Tower ‘1891 recently discovered it must spend Slope Day with its headgear still intact. This news came as a shock to the Cornell community, who now had no choice but to see the clocktower as a massive geek. According to Orthodontist John Stern, Tower possesses “teeth…

Read More
You're never going to believe this but "This organization is a registered student organization of Cornell University." Newsmatic - News WordPress Theme 2025. Powered By BlazeThemes.