DONLON — In what RA’s across campus are calling “The Donlon Miracle,” a potential fire was narrowly averted when building inspectors discovered a poster exactly 19 inches from the ceiling.
Equipped with protractors and tape measures, building inspectors entered 4551 Donlon Hall at around 10:30 Monday morning and quickly noticed a cat poster perched dangerously high up on the wall. However, inspectors were relieved after a detailed measurement revealed the wall decoration contained precisely 19 inches of space between it and the ceiling.
“We sure dodged a bullet there,” remarked senior RA and experienced fire hazard-locator Doug Andrews. Andrews went on to explain how the Laws of Thermodynamics clearly dictate that once a poster enters the 18 inch zone, its chances of spontaneously combusting immediately skyrocket. “Had the poster been a couple inches higher up, the room surely would have been engulfed in flames.”
While this event fortunately did not end in crisis, Andrews feels it is important to remind everyone about fire safety, warning that extension cords, pets, and especially unapproved microwave ovens, despite being perfectly safe in normal homes, risk incineration upon moving into a college dorm room.