WILLARD STRAIGHT HALL—Every so often, a governing body accomplishes a feat so momentous that it defines an era, and is immortalized in the annals of history: the Declaration of Independence; the Emancipation Proclamation; the Louisiana Purchase. Thanks to a resolution passed just last week, Cornell’s Student Assembly can claim its own spot in this illustrious pantheon.
Last week, the Assembly voted to send a mildly-worded letter to President Kotlikoff, asking for “slightly more money and maybe, just maybe, some actual pull in administrative decisions.”
“It’s a turning point,” said SA Member Abram Santoris ’26. “For too long, we’ve been relegated to menial tasks such as approving funding for the Shoe Polishing Club or determining whether cheese-rolling is an official sport. This resolution shows we are ready for real influence—like maybe being informed before the administration builds a $9 million bowling-themed art installment, rather than after construction begins. At this rate, we might even be able to voice our own opinions pretty soon!”
The letter, officially delivered to President Kotlikoff’s office on Friday evening by a prostrating cavalcade of SA members, was accompanied by a “Be gentle, I’m trying” cat poster and a box of half-melted, heart-shaped chocolates. At this time, the SA has received no response from the administration, despite the letter’s impassioned conclusion, “Pretty please with a cherry on top?”
