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February 24, 2026
  • Student Assembly Threatens Competence
  • “Unfortunately, We Had Many Qualified Candidates,” Sings A Capella Group At 2am Outside Your Window
  • Coefficient of Kinetic Friction Between You and Gray Slush Says Eat Shit Nerd
  • Bing Chilling? February Break Spent Celebrating Chinese New Year In Auspicious Binghamton Getaway
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  • Student Assembly Threatens Competence

    10 hours ago10 hours ago
  • “Unfortunately, We Had Many Qualified Candidates,” Sings A Capella Group At 2am Outside Your Window

    5 days ago5 days ago
  • Coefficient of Kinetic Friction Between You and Gray Slush Says Eat Shit Nerd

    6 days ago6 days ago
  • Bing Chilling? February Break Spent Celebrating Chinese New Year In Auspicious Binghamton Getaway

    1 week ago1 week ago
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  • 2013
  • November
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November 20, 2013

  • Uncategorized

Gannett Health Services Distraught to Learn “The Clap” Not Fun Dance Move

Nooz Staff12 years ago12 years ago02 mins

ITHACA, NY — Following an awkward, prolonged encounter with an unfortunate student, staff at Gannett Health Services were surprised and disgusted to learn that “the clap” was not, in fact, “a fun dance move like ‘the twerks’ that all these kids are into,” as reported by one distraught nurse. CU Nooz was on scene as…

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  • Uncategorized

Cornell Student Wonders why Investors haven’t Given him Millions for his “Great Idea for a Start-up”

Nooz Staff12 years ago12 years ago01 mins

“I don’t know where I went wrong,” Grant Zuckerman told Cornell Nooz. Zuckerman, who claimed to have “the next Facebook – a once-in-a-lifetime idea,” was struck by the fact that he was not yet a millionaire. “I thought I did everything right: I came up with a great idea, told all my friends about it,…

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