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December 18, 2025
  • Catch Me If You Can! CUPD Seen Sledding Down Slope in Pursuit of Evil Students Vandalizing Libe Slope with Evil Sleds
  • Angsty Student Body Clearly Has Study Period
  • Olin Elevator Dead at Level B
  • Partisan Gerrymandering Threatens to Remove 15 Seats from Uris Library
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  • Catch Me If You Can! CUPD Seen Sledding Down Slope in Pursuit of Evil Students Vandalizing Libe Slope with Evil Sleds

    6 days ago6 days ago
  • Angsty Student Body Clearly Has Study Period

    7 days ago7 days ago
  • Olin Elevator Dead at Level B

    1 week ago1 week ago
  • Partisan Gerrymandering Threatens to Remove 15 Seats from Uris Library

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November 20, 2013

  • Uncategorized

Gannett Health Services Distraught to Learn “The Clap” Not Fun Dance Move

Nooz Staff12 years ago12 years ago02 mins

ITHACA, NY — Following an awkward, prolonged encounter with an unfortunate student, staff at Gannett Health Services were surprised and disgusted to learn that “the clap” was not, in fact, “a fun dance move like ‘the twerks’ that all these kids are into,” as reported by one distraught nurse. CU Nooz was on scene as…

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  • Uncategorized

Cornell Student Wonders why Investors haven’t Given him Millions for his “Great Idea for a Start-up”

Nooz Staff12 years ago12 years ago01 mins

“I don’t know where I went wrong,” Grant Zuckerman told Cornell Nooz. Zuckerman, who claimed to have “the next Facebook – a once-in-a-lifetime idea,” was struck by the fact that he was not yet a millionaire. “I thought I did everything right: I came up with a great idea, told all my friends about it,…

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