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Morrison Stir-Fry Station Switches to Cup & Ball Scam for Food Pickup
Cornell President Warns Replacing President Would Harm Cornell, Cornell President
Halloween Enthusiast Disappointed by Ithaca Wine & Spirits
Throbbing Hangover Headache Met With 7:45 A.M. Clocktower Rendition of “Here Comes The Sun”
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Morrison Stir-Fry Station Switches to Cup & Ball Scam for Food Pickup
Cornell President Warns Replacing President Would Harm Cornell, Cornell President
Halloween Enthusiast Disappointed by Ithaca Wine & Spirits
Throbbing Hangover Headache Met With 7:45 A.M. Clocktower Rendition of “Here Comes The Sun”
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • CU NoozMagazine
    • Spring 2026 Issue
    • Spring 2025 Issue
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
Headlines

Morrison Stir-Fry Station Switches to Cup & Ball Scam for Food Pickup

5 hours ago5 hours ago

Cornell President Warns Replacing President Would Harm Cornell, Cornell President

8 hours ago8 hours ago

Halloween Enthusiast Disappointed by Ithaca Wine & Spirits

4 days ago4 days ago

Throbbing Hangover Headache Met With 7:45 A.M. Clocktower Rendition of “Here Comes The Sun”

5 days ago5 days ago

“You Know, Too Much Sleep Is Actually Bad For You,” Student Tells Person-Shaped Bush

6 days ago6 days ago

“Yeah I Was in the Hood,” Says Rich White Biology Student Misleadingly Talking About Fume Hood

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

Inconsiderate Asshole With No Concept of Personal Space Sits Within 5 Seats of You in Lecture Hall

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

Inhabitants of Local Valley Starting to Regret Construction of Hole-in-the-wall Restaurant in Hydroelectric Dam

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago
matty van hooty

Tompkins County DA Relieved to Go Back to Dismissing Other Cases

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

Kotlikoff Also Wondering What Action Cornell Administration Will Take

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago
  • Home
  • 2013
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  • 20

November 20, 2013

  • Uncategorized

Gannett Health Services Distraught to Learn “The Clap” Not Fun Dance Move

Nooz Staff13 years ago13 years ago01 mins

ITHACA, NY — Following an awkward, prolonged encounter with an unfortunate student, staff at Gannett Health Services were surprised and disgusted to learn that “the clap” was not, in fact, “a fun dance move like ‘the twerks’ that all these kids are into,” as reported by one distraught nurse. CU Nooz was on scene as…

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  • Uncategorized

Cornell Student Wonders why Investors haven’t Given him Millions for his “Great Idea for a Start-up”

Nooz Staff13 years ago13 years ago01 mins

“I don’t know where I went wrong,” Grant Zuckerman told Cornell Nooz. Zuckerman, who claimed to have “the next Facebook – a once-in-a-lifetime idea,” was struck by the fact that he was not yet a millionaire. “I thought I did everything right: I came up with a great idea, told all my friends about it,…

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