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Kotlikoff Frustrated by Inability to Send Nationwide Email
“Did The Sun Set?” Question Answered By A Million Instagram Stories Of Sky
Gross, Phlegmy Couple Attends Lecture in Sickness and in Health
Career Fair Recruiter Commends Engineering Student’s Innovative Self-Shredding Resume
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Kotlikoff Frustrated by Inability to Send Nationwide Email
“Did The Sun Set?” Question Answered By A Million Instagram Stories Of Sky
Gross, Phlegmy Couple Attends Lecture in Sickness and in Health
Career Fair Recruiter Commends Engineering Student’s Innovative Self-Shredding Resume
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • CU NoozMagazine
    • Spring 2026 Issue
    • Spring 2025 Issue
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
Headlines

Kotlikoff Frustrated by Inability to Send Nationwide Email

7 hours ago7 hours ago

“Did The Sun Set?” Question Answered By A Million Instagram Stories Of Sky

1 day ago1 day ago

Gross, Phlegmy Couple Attends Lecture in Sickness and in Health

4 days ago4 days ago

Career Fair Recruiter Commends Engineering Student’s Innovative Self-Shredding Resume

5 days ago5 days ago

Disintegrating Professor Gives Mitch McConnell-Esque Peace Sign Before Prelim

1 week ago1 week ago

OP-ED: I Right You Wrong Here Why

1 week ago1 week ago

CTB Barista Announces “Big Fat Chungus Sweetberry Surprise” is Ready at the Bar

1 week ago1 week ago

Mirror Tired of Hearing “I Am A Unique, Talented Writer” Every Morning From Daily Sun Journalist

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

Sprint Football Loses to Faster, More Reliable Verizon Football 

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago
Rush Hashanah

Rush Hashanah!: Fraternity Acknowledges High Holidays by Ensuring All Cocaine is Kosher

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago
  • Home
  • 2013
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  • 20

November 20, 2013

  • Uncategorized

Gannett Health Services Distraught to Learn “The Clap” Not Fun Dance Move

Nooz Staff13 years ago13 years ago01 mins

ITHACA, NY — Following an awkward, prolonged encounter with an unfortunate student, staff at Gannett Health Services were surprised and disgusted to learn that “the clap” was not, in fact, “a fun dance move like ‘the twerks’ that all these kids are into,” as reported by one distraught nurse. CU Nooz was on scene as…

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  • Uncategorized

Cornell Student Wonders why Investors haven’t Given him Millions for his “Great Idea for a Start-up”

Nooz Staff13 years ago13 years ago01 mins

“I don’t know where I went wrong,” Grant Zuckerman told Cornell Nooz. Zuckerman, who claimed to have “the next Facebook – a once-in-a-lifetime idea,” was struck by the fact that he was not yet a millionaire. “I thought I did everything right: I came up with a great idea, told all my friends about it,…

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