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March 14, 2026
  • “It’s 6 O’clock Somewhere”: Upperclassman Begs to Not Pay Bus Fare
  • CTB Declares War on Qahwah House, Fires 300 Espresso Shots
  • Wikipedia Page of Esteemed Professor Currently Flunking You Not Even, Like, That Long
  • “These Hands Don’t Haze!” Says Frat President Who Used Legs to Kick Shit Out of Pledges
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  • “It’s 6 O’clock Somewhere”: Upperclassman Begs to Not Pay Bus Fare

    16 hours ago16 hours ago
  • CTB Declares War on Qahwah House, Fires 300 Espresso Shots

    19 hours ago19 hours ago
  • Wikipedia Page of Esteemed Professor Currently Flunking You Not Even, Like, That Long

    2 days ago2 days ago
  • “These Hands Don’t Haze!” Says Frat President Who Used Legs to Kick Shit Out of Pledges

    2 days ago2 days ago
  • Half-Assed Discussion Post Setting Dangerous Precedent For Rest of Semester

    3 days ago3 days ago
  • Local Jester Actually Prefers Fool’s Spring

    4 days ago4 days ago
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  • 18

December 18, 2013

  • Uncategorized

Cornell Students Rejoice for Being Smarter Than at Least One Harvard Student

Nooz Staff12 years ago12 years ago02 mins

ITHACA, NY- Earlier this week, Harvard Student Eldo Kim was apprehended for his attempt to defer a final exam by calling in a bomb threat to several campus buildings. Perhaps a silver lining to this reckless and selfish act lies in the comfort felt by thousands of Cornell Students, who could now confirm their intellectual…

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  • Uncategorized

Sorority Establishes Feudalistic Fiefdom on Third Floor Mann

Nooz Staff12 years ago12 years ago02 mins

In a hostile takeover this past week, the Cornell chapter of sorority Sigma Kappa Tau ruthlessly overtook and installed their own dominion over the third floor of Mann Library. The monarchy, established with Lady Jenny Harquist ’14 as lord-protector of the realm, expects all students studying on 3 Mann to be vassals of the new…

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