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Biology Major Stressed About Answers to Pre-Limbs 
Student Who Chose Cornell For Top 12 Ranking Forced to Transfer
Your Friend Who Happens to Have a Car is Actually Funniest, Coolest, Most Attractive Person Ever
Kotlikoff Frustrated by Inability to Send Nationwide Email
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Biology Major Stressed About Answers to Pre-Limbs 
Student Who Chose Cornell For Top 12 Ranking Forced to Transfer
Your Friend Who Happens to Have a Car is Actually Funniest, Coolest, Most Attractive Person Ever
Kotlikoff Frustrated by Inability to Send Nationwide Email
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • CU NoozMagazine
    • Spring 2026 Issue
    • Spring 2025 Issue
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
Headlines

Biology Major Stressed About Answers to Pre-Limbs 

5 hours ago5 hours ago

Only Minority in Friend Group Already Knows Who She Going to Be

11 months ago11 months ago

Ambitious Group Project Member Needs To Take The Fucking Hint

11 months ago11 months ago

Motivational Message Etched Into Library Desk Undermined By Penis Right Beneath It

11 months ago11 months ago

Polycule Sex Cult Still Calling Itself “Co-Op”

11 months ago11 months ago

Cornell Announces “Raw Chicken Wednesdays” to Slim Down Large Freshman Class

11 months ago11 months ago

Americans Defeat Fascism by Putting On Greatest Talent Show This Nation Has Ever Seen

11 months ago11 months ago

Mamdani Debates Cuomo As World War I Flying Ace Curtis Sliwa Dogfights Infamous Red Baron

12 months ago

Pre-Annotated Library Book Tells Student Exactly What Important

12 months ago7 months ago

Professor Getting All Excited About Life’s Work Again

12 months ago12 months ago
  • Home
  • 2014
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  • 28

January 28, 2014

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AEM to Add Classes Based on The Wolf of Wall Street

Nooz Staff13 years ago13 years ago02 mins

ITHACA, NY-Although Martin Scorsese’s blockbuster The Wolf of Wall Street came out just weeks ago, students are already demanding more classes that will jumpstart their career aspirations of emulating the lifestyle of Jordan Belfort, protagonist of the film. Cornell has already responded to student’s demands, and has started creating classes that will be added to…

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  • Uncategorized

Mayor Svante Myrick Missing for Weeks, Found at Home Playing X-Box

Nooz Staff13 years ago13 years ago02 mins

After a stressful and tense week at Ithaca town hall, the Mayoral staff was relieved to find Svante Myrick after his disappearance one week ago. “We figured he just got lost. He does that sometimes, but he usually comes back after a few days.” explained Myrick’s chief of staff Alex Ellers. Ellers continued “One time…

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  • Uncategorized

Food Science Major Trying Every Variety of Hot Pocket “For Research”

Nooz Staff13 years ago13 years ago01 mins

ITHACA, NY – Jeff Henderson, a Food Science major in the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences, described to reporters Friday that his endeavor to taste all available flavors of the microwavable turnover brand Hot Pockets is a part of his departmental research under the mentorship of Professor Sheila Reynolds. “The goal of research is…

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