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April 23, 2026
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  • 2014
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  • 13

February 13, 2014

  • Uncategorized

Student Breaks World Record Time Driving Home for Break

Nooz Staff12 years ago12 years ago04 mins

BROOKLYN, NY – In a thrilling turn of events, Jake Glassner ‘14 drove home from Cornell University to metropolitan New York City area in a record-breaking time of 3:06, taking a gold medal home to his parents and his country. “I’ve trained my whole life for this,” said Glassner. “Ever since my family drove up…

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  • Uncategorized

Job Market Looks Promising for Graduates, According to Mom

Nooz Staff12 years ago12 years ago02 mins

NEW HAVEN, CT- The job market for Cornell students graduating in 2014 is looking great, according to the mother of Kyle Westing, ’14. “Cathy’s son, remember him? He just got a job out in California. You’ll be sure to find a job!” said Mrs. Westing, talking to the 22-year-old archaeology major over the phone. With…

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