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October 24, 2025
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March 24, 2014

  • Uncategorized

Cornell Spring Breaks, Possibly Beyond Repair

Nooz Staff12 years ago02 mins

ITHACA, NY – As Cornell was brought in for its seasonal checkup, it was revealed that its Spring has broken, and may be beyond repair. Upon receiving the news that Spring was in fact irreversibly broken, Cornell president David Skorton told reporters “I’ve been bringing Cornell in for its inspection every year for the past…

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  • Uncategorized

Concert Commission Relieved No One’s Noticed Complete Lack of Concerts

Nooz Staff12 years ago12 years ago04 mins

ITHACA, NY – The Cornell Concert Commission (CCC) is proud to report that no one has really noticed or commented on the fact that there has not been a concert scheduled the entire spring semester. In a recent interview, CCC President Lance Gleen told CU Nooz that he was “quite grateful” that Cornellians hadn’t picked…

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