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May 11, 2026
  • Cornell Christian Club Turns Rain into Wine Tour
  • Kotlikoff Carefully Maneuvers Around Key Detail at Day Hall Incident
  • “I Overcame a Lot of Diversity to be Here,” Says White Dude in Discussion Section
  • Student Accused of Using AI Forced to Defend Worst Discussion Post Ever
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April 23, 2014

  • Cornell

Cornell 8 Actually Real-World 6, Says Objective Judge of Beauty

Nooz Staff12 years ago12 years ago02 mins

Critical reports from fraternity brother Steve Alders revealed that the girl across the room at Dunbar’s is “an 8 for Cornell, but a 6 in the real world.” Alders, a clear and objective arbiter of beauty, further explained that the relative attractiveness of a woman was in fact, a geographically based phenomenon. The 20 year-old…

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