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Company Named After Darth Vader’s Lightsaber Scheduled To Offer Coffee Chats on Campus
Student Wanting Lap Dance Blocks Middle Seats in Lecture
“Why Do Weed-Out Classes Even Exist?” Frowns Crabgrass-Shaped Student
Novick’s Fall Menu Still Just Muddy Puddle Water Scooped Around the Back
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Company Named After Darth Vader’s Lightsaber Scheduled To Offer Coffee Chats on Campus
Student Wanting Lap Dance Blocks Middle Seats in Lecture
“Why Do Weed-Out Classes Even Exist?” Frowns Crabgrass-Shaped Student
Novick’s Fall Menu Still Just Muddy Puddle Water Scooped Around the Back
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • CU NoozMagazine
    • Spring 2026 Issue
    • Spring 2025 Issue
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
Headlines

Company Named After Darth Vader’s Lightsaber Scheduled To Offer Coffee Chats on Campus

8 hours ago8 hours ago

Student Wanting Lap Dance Blocks Middle Seats in Lecture

1 day ago1 day ago

“Why Do Weed-Out Classes Even Exist?” Frowns Crabgrass-Shaped Student

5 days ago5 days ago

Novick’s Fall Menu Still Just Muddy Puddle Water Scooped Around the Back

6 days ago6 days ago

Report: Skepticism Up 60%?

6 days ago6 days ago

Swing Voter Would Vote Blue But Ughhh Trump Is Soooo Relatable When He Starts Going On Tangents About Men’s Bodies

1 week ago1 week ago

Aww! Rhode Island Going to Hold Cute Little Elections, Too

1 week ago1 week ago

Trump Administration Questions Whether Black Friday Got There on its Own Merit

12 months ago9 months ago

Fun Aunt Put Marshmallows in Hers

12 months ago12 months ago

“Just Happy to Help”: Dud Brother Unloads Dishwasher

12 months ago12 months ago
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  • 2014
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  • 23

August 23, 2014

  • Cornell

Parents Totally Having Sex In Your Absence

Nooz Staff12 years ago01 mins

WESTCHESTER, NY — Reports indicate that after dropping you off at Cornell to begin a full year of college, your parents immediately took advantage of their now empty  house by having sex in your absence. “Pretty much as soon as we walk in the door,” said your mom, when asked how long it would be until…

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  • Cornell

CU Nooz’s Guide to Finding Parties

Nooz Staff12 years ago02 mins

Finding parties in Collegetown without knowing anyone can be a challenge, and you may not even be able to get in once you find one! But with these helpful tips you’ll be living the college party life in no time: Come by 5:30 to ensure that the party is not yet at capacity. Use thermal…

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  • Cornell

Feral Pack of Freshman Terrorize Collegetown Parties

Nooz Staff12 years ago01 mins

COLLEGETOWN- A roving pack of freshmen numbering somewhere between 15 and 25 was reported around the Collegetown area last night terrorizing parties. Residents are advised to take precautions against the feral creatures, says CUPD representative Trisha Brenning. “Around this time of year, these packs of young adults can easily form when one of them decides…

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