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March 13, 2026
  • Wikipedia Page of Esteemed Professor Currently Flunking You Not Even, Like, That Long
  • “These Hands Don’t Haze!” Says Frat President Who Used Legs to Kick Shit Out of Pledges
  • Half-Assed Discussion Post Setting Dangerous Precedent For Rest of Semester
  • Local Jester Actually Prefers Fool’s Spring
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  • “These Hands Don’t Haze!” Says Frat President Who Used Legs to Kick Shit Out of Pledges

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  • Half-Assed Discussion Post Setting Dangerous Precedent For Rest of Semester

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  • 26

August 26, 2014

  • Cornell

International Freshman Excited for Opportunity to Get Plastered at American University

Nooz Staff12 years ago02 mins

ITHACA, NY – Incoming freshman and international student Boris Katyaldev confirmed today that he was incredibly excited for the unique opportunity to attend an American university and get absolutely plastered while there. “All of my family back home encouraged me to look to America to go to college, and now that I’m actually here, I…

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  • Cornell

Triple Occupant Blissfully Unaware Roommates Requested Each Other

Nooz Staff12 years ago02 mins

LOW RISE 7- Reports are indicating that freshman Kendra McKnight, who recently took up residence in a Low Rise 7 triple, is completely unaware that her two roommates, Diana Mathews and Bridget Gold, requested to live with one another. Mathews and Gold were surprised to learn that McKnight had been assigned to their room as…

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