Skip to content
July 4, 2026
  • Cornell Christian Club Turns Rain into Wine Tour
  • Kotlikoff Carefully Maneuvers Around Key Detail at Day Hall Incident
  • “I Overcame a Lot of Diversity to be Here,” Says White Dude in Discussion Section
  • Student Accused of Using AI Forced to Defend Worst Discussion Post Ever
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • CU NoozMagazine
    • Spring 2026 Issue
    • Spring 2025 Issue
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
Headlines
  • OP-ED: You And I Both Know Our Construction Team Can’t Handle Building A Pathway In Ezra’s Tunnel

    9 years ago9 years ago
  • Student Who Bleeds Big Red Sadly Returns Latest Nike Shoes

    9 years ago
  • Report: Holy Shit, It’s Wednesday

    9 years ago9 years ago
  • Student at Summer Internship Drops Fourth Hint of Day That He Goes to Cornell

    10 years ago
  • Professors Notice Increase in Student Motivation To Be the Very Best, Like No One Ever Was

    10 years ago10 years ago
  • Report: 10:10 Lecture Fills Up Too Quickly and Oh Boo Hoo You Sad Fucks

    10 years ago10 years ago
  • Home
  • 2014
  • September
  • 3

September 3, 2014

  • Cornell

Lab of Ornithology Closes After Scientists Learn Everything About Birds

Nooz Staff12 years ago02 mins

In a statement released last Monday, The Cornell Lab of Ornithology announced that its researchers have learned everything there is to know about birds and would be shutting down all operations indefinitely. “Birds are very simple creatures. We know that their hollow bones and feathers help them fly, and that they use their beaks to…

Read More
  • Cornell

OP-ED: Welcome to Cornell! I’m the Sheriff ‘Round These Parts

Nooz Staff12 years ago04 mins

By Cornell Police Chief Kathy Zoner Howdy partner! I didn’t see you wander into town. Nice day for it though…mighty nice day. Whelp, since you’re new here I figured I’d introduce myself and let you know that I’m the sheriff ‘round these parts. No cause for alarm, stranger!  If you don’t start any trouble we…

Read More
You're never going to believe this but "This organization is a registered student organization of Cornell University." Newsmatic - News WordPress Theme 2026. Powered By BlazeThemes.