September 8, 2014

Headlines

Heartwarming! Cornell Sun Writer Not Sure What “News” Is, Publishes Article About Their Tuesday
43 minutes ago43 minutes ago
He is Risen! Student Who Spent Spring Break in Alcoholic Stupor Miraculously Attends 9 AM Lecture
1 day ago1 day ago
“What Are You Talking About? Slope Day Just Happened”: Administration Tries New Tactic After Failing to Source Replacement Artist
11 months ago
Two Birds, One Stone! Jerry from Craigslist Booked as Slope Day Headliner, Convocation Speaker
11 months ago11 months ago
Circle of Elders Regales Freshmen With Stories of the Before-Times When the Clocktower Was Free
12 months ago6 months ago
Girl Power! Group of Girlies Take Elevator Up to 7th Floor of Olin
12 months ago12 months ago

Cornell to Increase Tuition by Two Vital Organs

Nooz Staff12 years ago02 mins

DAY HALL — Following a common trend that has been taking place over the last decade, Cornell University has announced that it will be increasing student tuition by two vital organs for the 2015-2016 school year. “We understand that this move will not be popular among the students, however the costs of running a major…

Russian Roommate Won’t Stop Encroaching on Ukrainian Roommate’s Side of Room

Nooz Staff12 years ago12 years ago02 mins

COLLEGETOWN– Katerina Grochenko, a senior of Ukrainian descent, is reporting that living with her Russian roommate Maria Vasileva ‘16 has been “a pure nightmare” this past week. “Maria won’t stop dumping her stuff on my side of the room. She uses my dishes and eats my food,” said the distraught Grochenko. When I ask her…