October 20, 2014

Cornell Football Loses to Grace Potter and Icona Pop in Homecoming Game

Nooz Staff11 years ago02 mins

SCHOELLKOPF —With thousands of students and alumni on campus to celebrate Homecoming weekend, football fans were disappointed on Saturday as Cornell was defeated 31-14 by musicians Grace Potter and Icona Pop. “I’m very proud of my boys, but we all knew it was going to be rough going up against an indie singer and a…

Senior Chalks Up Alcohol Withdrawal Headache to “Lack of Sleep”

Nooz Staff11 years ago01 mins

ITHACA, NY — Matthew Bernstein ‘15 has been suffering from an alcohol withdrawal headache all day, a headache which he has mistakenly attributed to too little sleep. “Man, my head’s pounding today. I definitely need to get to bed earlier today,” said Bernstein, unable to connect the dots between the fact he’s been drunk every…

Catch Me If You Can! CUPD Seen Sledding Down Slope in Pursuit of Evil Students Vandalizing Libe Slope with Evil Sleds

Angsty Student Body Clearly Has Study Period

Olin Elevator Dead at Level B

Partisan Gerrymandering Threatens to Remove 15 Seats from Uris Library

Fatass Inducted Into Dining Hall of Fame

Willard Straight Hall Turns 100, Runs for Congress

October 20, 2014

Cornell Football Loses to Grace Potter and Icona Pop in Homecoming Game

Senior Chalks Up Alcohol Withdrawal Headache to “Lack of Sleep”