October 20, 2014

Cornell Football Loses to Grace Potter and Icona Pop in Homecoming Game

Nooz Staff11 years ago02 mins

SCHOELLKOPF —With thousands of students and alumni on campus to celebrate Homecoming weekend, football fans were disappointed on Saturday as Cornell was defeated 31-14 by musicians Grace Potter and Icona Pop. “I’m very proud of my boys, but we all knew it was going to be rough going up against an indie singer and a…

Senior Chalks Up Alcohol Withdrawal Headache to “Lack of Sleep”

Nooz Staff11 years ago01 mins

ITHACA, NY — Matthew Bernstein ‘15 has been suffering from an alcohol withdrawal headache all day, a headache which he has mistakenly attributed to too little sleep. “Man, my head’s pounding today. I definitely need to get to bed earlier today,” said Bernstein, unable to connect the dots between the fact he’s been drunk every…

Cornell Engineering Debuts ‘This Is What A David Duffield Looks Like’ Shirt

Puffer Jacket in Heels Excited to Hit the Town

Everyone at Ithaca REI Dressed Like Employee

Chuck Schumer Vows to Stand Up to Republicans Until It Time to Take Nap

Minnesota Democrats Vow to Send Trump Sternly-Worded Edible Arrangement Next Time ICE Murders One of Their Constituents

College of Human Ecology to Remain Unnamed Despite Generous Donation from Adam Hitler ’73

October 20, 2014

Cornell Football Loses to Grace Potter and Icona Pop in Homecoming Game

Senior Chalks Up Alcohol Withdrawal Headache to “Lack of Sleep”