October 22, 2014

Club Surfing Looks to Rebuild After Losing Captain, Only Member

Nooz Staff11 years ago02 mins

BEEBE LAKE—The survival of Cornell’s Club Surfing team is in jeopardy this season as it looks to replace its captain and sole member, Blake Stolar (CALS ‘14). Stolar lead the Soggy Bears to the wildly celebrated completion of two seasons his junior and senior year, with records of 0-6 and 1-5 respectively, before he graduated…

SA President Busy Rehearsing Speech for Trustees to Ignore

Nooz Staff11 years ago02 mins

STATLER HALL — According to insider information, SA President Sarah Balik is diligently rehearsing her speech which the Board of Trustees will almost immediately ignore. Initial reports indicate that Balik had spent a minimum of seven hours meticulously poring over her speech so that it is as clear, concise, and moving as possible before spending…

Catch Me If You Can! CUPD Seen Sledding Down Slope in Pursuit of Evil Students Vandalizing Libe Slope with Evil Sleds

Angsty Student Body Clearly Has Study Period

Olin Elevator Dead at Level B

Partisan Gerrymandering Threatens to Remove 15 Seats from Uris Library

Fatass Inducted Into Dining Hall of Fame

Willard Straight Hall Turns 100, Runs for Congress

October 22, 2014

Club Surfing Looks to Rebuild After Losing Captain, Only Member

SA President Busy Rehearsing Speech for Trustees to Ignore