November 3, 2014

Headlines

Stampeding OurBus Herd Crushes Unsuspecting Subaru
4 days ago4 days ago
Aww! Discussion Section Classmate Says First Words
5 days ago
Cornell Republicans Blame Radical Left for Shutdown of Morrison Dole Whip Machine
1 week ago1 week ago
National Guard Numbers Dwindle as Troops Assimilated into Greater Portland Polycule
1 week ago1 week ago
Flipped Classroom Professor Not Sure What’s Going On, Asks If You Have Any Idea
1 week ago1 week ago
Senior Still in Model UN Working Towards Killer Common App Resume
2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

Freshman Puts Up Hard-Partying Facade for Parents’ Weekend

Nooz Staff11 years ago02 mins

BAUER — Sources are indicating that Jacob Lifflander ’18 spent a considerable amount of time and money this weekend convincing his parents that he has been drinking and partying often while away at college. “I don’t want them to think their tuition money is going to waste,” explained the studious biology major while removing his latest…

Girl in Sexy Kitten Costume Rescued by Local Animal Shelter

Nooz Staff11 years ago11 years ago01 mins

COLLEGETOWN- Sources are reporting that the Tompkins County SPCA rescued a stray girl sporting a sexy kitten costume this Friday night. “We found Mittens shivering in a sideways box labeled ‘FREE,’ taking shelter from the rain,” said Jim Bouderau, executive director of the Tompkins County SPCA, while refilling the girl’s saucer of milk. “She was…