November 3, 2014

Headlines

FWS On “Socioeconomic Impacts Of 19th Century French Colonialism” Surprisingly Not As Fun As FWS On “Watching Movies With Joyous Whimsy”
11 months ago11 months ago
“If you love something, set it free,” Student Deletes App Just Downloaded for Free Donut
12 months ago12 months ago
OP-ED: Hey Ryan, So Like Now That You’re On Sabbatical, I Was Wondering If You’d Like To Maybe Hang Out Sometime Soon? We Can Grab Coffee On Friday Haha. I’m Sort Of Behind On Rent So If You Could Pay That Would Be Cool
12 months ago12 months ago
Brain Break! Reading Contains Graph Full of Important Information
12 months ago12 months ago
Report: Vitamin D Supplements Doing Little to Hinder Bleak, Hopeless Future
12 months ago12 months ago
Frat With No Pledges Handing Out Sad Little Pamphlets Outside Dining Hall Like An A Capella Group
2 years ago2 years ago

Freshman Puts Up Hard-Partying Facade for Parents’ Weekend

Nooz Staff11 years ago02 mins

BAUER — Sources are indicating that Jacob Lifflander ’18 spent a considerable amount of time and money this weekend convincing his parents that he has been drinking and partying often while away at college. “I don’t want them to think their tuition money is going to waste,” explained the studious biology major while removing his latest…

Girl in Sexy Kitten Costume Rescued by Local Animal Shelter

Nooz Staff11 years ago11 years ago01 mins

COLLEGETOWN- Sources are reporting that the Tompkins County SPCA rescued a stray girl sporting a sexy kitten costume this Friday night. “We found Mittens shivering in a sideways box labeled ‘FREE,’ taking shelter from the rain,” said Jim Bouderau, executive director of the Tompkins County SPCA, while refilling the girl’s saucer of milk. “She was…