Skip to content
November 4, 2025
  • Guy Still Wearing Cayuga Med Wristband Monday After Halloweekend Really Wants You to Ask What Happened
  • Instant Ramen Instructions Detail How To Burn Noodles, Pull Fire Alarm, Act Confused
  • Only Minority in Friend Group Already Knows Who She Going to Be
  • Ambitious Group Project Member Needs To Take The Fucking Hint
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
  • CU NoozMagazine | Spring 2025 Issue
Headlines
  • Guy Still Wearing Cayuga Med Wristband Monday After Halloweekend Really Wants You to Ask What Happened

    12 hours ago12 hours ago
  • Instant Ramen Instructions Detail How To Burn Noodles, Pull Fire Alarm, Act Confused

    2 days ago2 days ago
  • Kotlikoff Claims “You Can Fit A Turkey Up There”, Vague About What “There” Means

    11 months ago11 months ago
  • “Next Stop, Binghamton!” OurBus Trip Goes South

    11 months ago11 months ago
  • EDITORIAL: Please God, Let The Daily Sun Go Bankrupt So We Can Buy Them

    11 months ago11 months ago
  • “Consider a Man’s Life Situated on a Frictionless, Downward Plane”: Physics Professor Not Handling His Divorce Well

    12 months ago12 months ago
  • Home
  • 2014
  • November
  • 3

November 3, 2014

  • Cornell

Freshman Puts Up Hard-Partying Facade for Parents’ Weekend

Nooz Staff11 years ago02 mins

BAUER — Sources are indicating that Jacob Lifflander ’18 spent a considerable amount of time and money this weekend convincing his parents that he has been drinking and partying often while away at college. “I don’t want them to think their tuition money is going to waste,” explained the studious biology major while removing his latest…

Read More
  • Cornell

Girl in Sexy Kitten Costume Rescued by Local Animal Shelter

Nooz Staff11 years ago11 years ago01 mins

COLLEGETOWN- Sources are reporting that the Tompkins County SPCA rescued a stray girl sporting a sexy kitten costume this Friday night. “We found Mittens shivering in a sideways box labeled ‘FREE,’ taking shelter from the rain,” said Jim Bouderau, executive director of the Tompkins County SPCA, while refilling the girl’s saucer of milk. “She was…

Read More
You're never going to believe this but "This organization is a registered student organization of Cornell University." Newsmatic - News WordPress Theme 2025. Powered By BlazeThemes.