November 3, 2014

Headlines

University Report Finds Students Need to Be Better Supported, but Ugh, It So Much Work Though
3 hours ago3 hours ago
E&S Major Using ChatGPT Calls It Even
5 hours ago5 hours ago
Harry Potter Ass Motherfucker Studying Under Olin Stairs
1 day ago1 day ago
Aww! Daily Sun Wants to Be Just Like Favorite Satire Publication When They Grow Up
1 day ago1 day ago
Ty Dolla $ign Still Waiting for OurBus Back From Syracuse Airport
2 days ago2 days ago
Kotlikoff Sowwy For Washing Away Political Chalk Messages, Just Wanted To Play Hopscotch
2 days ago2 days ago

Freshman Puts Up Hard-Partying Facade for Parents’ Weekend

Nooz Staff11 years ago02 mins

BAUER — Sources are indicating that Jacob Lifflander ’18 spent a considerable amount of time and money this weekend convincing his parents that he has been drinking and partying often while away at college. “I don’t want them to think their tuition money is going to waste,” explained the studious biology major while removing his latest…

Girl in Sexy Kitten Costume Rescued by Local Animal Shelter

Nooz Staff11 years ago11 years ago01 mins

COLLEGETOWN- Sources are reporting that the Tompkins County SPCA rescued a stray girl sporting a sexy kitten costume this Friday night. “We found Mittens shivering in a sideways box labeled ‘FREE,’ taking shelter from the rain,” said Jim Bouderau, executive director of the Tompkins County SPCA, while refilling the girl’s saucer of milk. “She was…