November 3, 2014

Headlines

Cornell Christian Club Turns Rain into Wine Tour
2 days ago2 days ago
Kotlikoff Carefully Maneuvers Around Key Detail at Day Hall Incident
1 week ago1 week ago
“I Overcame a Lot of Diversity to be Here,” Says White Dude in Discussion Section
2 weeks ago2 weeks ago
Despotic Senior Declines to Answer Whether They’ll Seek Third Term as Club President
12 months ago12 months ago
In Historic Show of Power, Student Assembly Votes to Politely Ask for More Power
1 year ago1 year ago
L-DOC? My Final Essay Fucking Sucks
1 year ago1 year ago

Freshman Puts Up Hard-Partying Facade for Parents’ Weekend

Nooz Staff12 years ago02 mins

BAUER — Sources are indicating that Jacob Lifflander ’18 spent a considerable amount of time and money this weekend convincing his parents that he has been drinking and partying often while away at college. “I don’t want them to think their tuition money is going to waste,” explained the studious biology major while removing his latest…

Girl in Sexy Kitten Costume Rescued by Local Animal Shelter

Nooz Staff12 years ago12 years ago01 mins

COLLEGETOWN- Sources are reporting that the Tompkins County SPCA rescued a stray girl sporting a sexy kitten costume this Friday night. “We found Mittens shivering in a sideways box labeled ‘FREE,’ taking shelter from the rain,” said Jim Bouderau, executive director of the Tompkins County SPCA, while refilling the girl’s saucer of milk. “She was…