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Press Secretary’s White House Speedrun Beats Time for Escaping Ives Speedrun
Empty Beer Can Crushed, Devastated
Vote of No Continence? Kotlikoff Shits Pants
Uris Hall Excited to Announce New 0 Ply Toilet Paper
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Press Secretary’s White House Speedrun Beats Time for Escaping Ives Speedrun
Empty Beer Can Crushed, Devastated
Vote of No Continence? Kotlikoff Shits Pants
Uris Hall Excited to Announce New 0 Ply Toilet Paper
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • CU NoozMagazine
    • Spring 2026 Issue
    • Spring 2025 Issue
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
Headlines

Press Secretary’s White House Speedrun Beats Time for Escaping Ives Speedrun

3 days ago3 days ago

Empty Beer Can Crushed, Devastated

3 days ago3 days ago

Vote of No Continence? Kotlikoff Shits Pants

4 days ago4 days ago

Uris Hall Excited to Announce New 0 Ply Toilet Paper

4 days ago4 days ago

“I’ll See You In Court”: Student Mistakes CKB Resident’s Invitation As Legal Threat

5 days ago5 days ago

Morrison Stir-Fry Station Switches to Cup & Ball Scam for Food Pickup

6 days ago6 days ago

Cornell President Warns Replacing President Would Harm Cornell, Cornell President

6 days ago6 days ago

Halloween Enthusiast Disappointed by Ithaca Wine & Spirits

1 week ago1 week ago

Throbbing Hangover Headache Met With 7:45 A.M. Clocktower Rendition of “Here Comes The Sun”

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

“You Know, Too Much Sleep Is Actually Bad For You,” Student Tells Person-Shaped Bush

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago
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  • 24

February 24, 2015

  • Cornell

God Also Wondering When Cold Will Stop

Nooz Staff12 years ago12 years ago01 mins

THE HEAVENS – As Cornell struggles through one of the coldest stretches in recent memory, local reports indicate that even the Lord Almighty himself is wondering when this intolerable weather will let up. “It feels like it’s been under 10 degrees this whole semester, and classes haven’t even been canceled yet? I mean what are…

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