August 25, 2015 – CU Nooz

Headlines

FWS On “Socioeconomic Impacts Of 19th Century French Colonialism” Surprisingly Not As Fun As FWS On “Watching Movies With Joyous Whimsy”
11 months ago11 months ago
“If you love something, set it free,” Student Deletes App Just Downloaded for Free Donut
12 months ago12 months ago
OP-ED: Hey Ryan, So Like Now That You’re On Sabbatical, I Was Wondering If You’d Like To Maybe Hang Out Sometime Soon? We Can Grab Coffee On Friday Haha. I’m Sort Of Behind On Rent So If You Could Pay That Would Be Cool
12 months ago12 months ago
Brain Break! Reading Contains Graph Full of Important Information
12 months ago12 months ago
Report: Vitamin D Supplements Doing Little to Hinder Bleak, Hopeless Future
12 months ago12 months ago
Frat With No Pledges Handing Out Sad Little Pamphlets Outside Dining Hall Like An A Capella Group
2 years ago2 years ago

Elizabeth Garrett Fails Swim Test

Nooz Staff10 years ago10 years ago02 mins

TEAGLE HALL — After failing to swim the requisite 75 yards, Elizabeth Garrett was disappointed to announce she had not passed the water safety competency test enforced by the University. She will now need to enroll in PE 1100 – Beginning Swimming and pass the course before the end of her tenure, in order to…

Outdated Chemistry Syllabus Confirms Year Still 2012

Nooz Staff10 years ago10 years ago02 mins

BAKER LAB — At today’s first lecture of CHEM 2140, an outdated syllabus officially revealed that this year’s course takes place once again during Fall semester 2012. Professor Janice Stocking was proud to acknowledge that her syllabus transcends time, that the year of Tim Tebow and the Mayan Apocalypse was expressly selected for this offering…