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March 19, 2026
  • Op-Ed: Oops! Not All That Depression was Seasonal
  • Lab Partner Swears “It Feels Better Without Gloves”
  • Op-Ed: My Candle Ritual Would Have Made My Situationship Like Me Back If the Fire Inspection Guys Hadn’t Confiscated It
  • Student at Palantir Event Offended By Implication They Support Palantir
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  • Op-Ed: Oops! Not All That Depression was Seasonal

    11 hours ago11 hours ago
  • Lab Partner Swears “It Feels Better Without Gloves”

    2 days ago2 days ago
  • Op-Ed: My Candle Ritual Would Have Made My Situationship Like Me Back If the Fire Inspection Guys Hadn’t Confiscated It

    3 days ago3 days ago
  • Student at Palantir Event Offended By Implication They Support Palantir

    3 days ago3 days ago
  • Short Ginger Friend Hides Box of Edibles at End of Rainbow

    5 days ago5 days ago
  • “It’s 6 O’clock Somewhere”: Upperclassman Begs to Not Pay Bus Fare

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August 25, 2015

  • Cornell

Elizabeth Garrett Fails Swim Test

Nooz Staff11 years ago11 years ago02 mins

TEAGLE HALL — After failing to swim the requisite 75 yards, Elizabeth Garrett was disappointed to announce she had not passed the water safety competency test enforced by the University. She will now need to enroll in PE 1100 – Beginning Swimming and pass the course before the end of her tenure, in order to…

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Outdated Chemistry Syllabus Confirms Year Still 2012

Nooz Staff11 years ago11 years ago02 mins

BAKER LAB — At today’s first lecture of CHEM 2140, an outdated syllabus officially revealed that this year’s course takes place once again during Fall semester 2012. Professor Janice Stocking was proud to acknowledge that her syllabus transcends time, that the year of Tim Tebow and the Mayan Apocalypse was expressly selected for this offering…

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