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Press Secretary’s White House Speedrun Beats Time for Escaping Ives Speedrun
Empty Beer Can Crushed, Devastated
Vote of No Continence? Kotlikoff Shits Pants
Uris Hall Excited to Announce New 0 Ply Toilet Paper
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Press Secretary’s White House Speedrun Beats Time for Escaping Ives Speedrun
Empty Beer Can Crushed, Devastated
Vote of No Continence? Kotlikoff Shits Pants
Uris Hall Excited to Announce New 0 Ply Toilet Paper
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • CU NoozMagazine
    • Spring 2026 Issue
    • Spring 2025 Issue
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
Headlines

Press Secretary’s White House Speedrun Beats Time for Escaping Ives Speedrun

2 days ago2 days ago

Empty Beer Can Crushed, Devastated

2 days ago2 days ago

Vote of No Continence? Kotlikoff Shits Pants

3 days ago3 days ago

Uris Hall Excited to Announce New 0 Ply Toilet Paper

3 days ago3 days ago

“I’ll See You In Court”: Student Mistakes CKB Resident’s Invitation As Legal Threat

4 days ago4 days ago

Morrison Stir-Fry Station Switches to Cup & Ball Scam for Food Pickup

5 days ago5 days ago

Cornell President Warns Replacing President Would Harm Cornell, Cornell President

5 days ago5 days ago

Halloween Enthusiast Disappointed by Ithaca Wine & Spirits

1 week ago1 week ago

Throbbing Hangover Headache Met With 7:45 A.M. Clocktower Rendition of “Here Comes The Sun”

1 week ago1 week ago

“You Know, Too Much Sleep Is Actually Bad For You,” Student Tells Person-Shaped Bush

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago
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  • 9

September 9, 2015

  • Cornell

Confident Freshman Hands J.P. Morgan Resume from High School

Nooz Staff11 years ago01 mins

BARTON HALL- Jeremy Schmidt ’19, a Freshman AEM major, stopped by today’s career fair to present the J.P. Morgan recruiters with a distinguished copy of the same resume he used in high school. “National Honor Society AND Recycling Club. Once J.P. Morgan sees that, they can’t turn me down,” stated Schmidt, who is 3 weeks…

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