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Press Secretary’s White House Speedrun Beats Time for Escaping Ives Speedrun
Empty Beer Can Crushed, Devastated
Vote of No Continence? Kotlikoff Shits Pants
Uris Hall Excited to Announce New 0 Ply Toilet Paper
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Press Secretary’s White House Speedrun Beats Time for Escaping Ives Speedrun
Empty Beer Can Crushed, Devastated
Vote of No Continence? Kotlikoff Shits Pants
Uris Hall Excited to Announce New 0 Ply Toilet Paper
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • CU NoozMagazine
    • Spring 2026 Issue
    • Spring 2025 Issue
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
Headlines

Press Secretary’s White House Speedrun Beats Time for Escaping Ives Speedrun

2 days ago2 days ago

Empty Beer Can Crushed, Devastated

2 days ago2 days ago

Vote of No Continence? Kotlikoff Shits Pants

3 days ago3 days ago

Uris Hall Excited to Announce New 0 Ply Toilet Paper

3 days ago3 days ago

“I’ll See You In Court”: Student Mistakes CKB Resident’s Invitation As Legal Threat

4 days ago4 days ago

Morrison Stir-Fry Station Switches to Cup & Ball Scam for Food Pickup

5 days ago5 days ago

Cornell President Warns Replacing President Would Harm Cornell, Cornell President

5 days ago5 days ago

Halloween Enthusiast Disappointed by Ithaca Wine & Spirits

1 week ago1 week ago

Throbbing Hangover Headache Met With 7:45 A.M. Clocktower Rendition of “Here Comes The Sun”

1 week ago1 week ago

“You Know, Too Much Sleep Is Actually Bad For You,” Student Tells Person-Shaped Bush

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago
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  • 10

March 10, 2016

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Local Girl Scout Militia To Enforce Fascist Agenda On Ho Plaza

Nooz Staff11 years ago11 years ago02 mins

HO PLAZA, BASE OF OPERATIONS – The Ithaca sector of the Girl Scouts of America have entered the next phase of their campus infiltration, as dozens of six-year-olds and their parents enforce their confection-based fascist agenda outside of Willard Straight Hall. “These freethinkers will pay for not accepting our cookies as mandated by the constitution…

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