March 14, 2016

Ben Carson Mysteriously Appears on Student Assembly Ballot

Nooz Staff10 years ago10 years ago02 mins

WILLARD STRAIGHT HALL — After dropping out of the race for the Republican nomination, retired neurosurgeon Ben Carson inexplicably showed up on the Cornell Student Assembly ballot earlier today. “When I logged on to vote, I saw Ben Carson’s shining face staring at me,” said Alex Li ‘19. “I refreshed the page and tried to…

“Hallelujah, The Rainy Season Has Come!” Cry Ithaca Dust Bowl Farmers

Nooz Staff10 years ago10 years ago02 mins

TOMPKINS COUNTY — Hundreds of dustbowl farmers in the greater Tompkins County area are rejoicing at the coming of the rain, after months of drought brought no crops to their land. “Madge! Madge, get out here, you’re not gonna believe this!” cried Ernest Young, finally seeing the thick storm clouds form overhead and drop a…

‘What Did I Miss?’ Asks Architecture Major Leaving Studio for First Time in 18 Weeks

Student In Charge of Planning America-Themed Family Mixer

Campus Adds New Dimension to Accommodate Class of 2020

Hotel School Votes to Leave University in Historic Referendum

Sophomore Acing Summer Classes, Failing Summer

Recent Graduates Wondering Who Will Take Initiative to Clean House

Ben Carson Mysteriously Appears on Student Assembly Ballot

“Hallelujah, The Rainy Season Has Come!” Cry Ithaca Dust Bowl Farmers