April 18, 2016 – CU Nooz

Headlines

Wikipedia Page of Esteemed Professor Currently Flunking You Not Even, Like, That Long
18 hours ago18 hours ago
“These Hands Don’t Haze!” Says Frat President Who Used Legs to Kick Shit Out of Pledges
19 hours ago19 hours ago
Half-Assed Discussion Post Setting Dangerous Precedent For Rest of Semester
2 days ago2 days ago
Local Jester Actually Prefers Fool’s Spring
3 days ago3 days ago
Frolicking Squirrel Thinks It’s Funny You Bombed That Prelim
3 days ago3 days ago
Dumb Idiot Bunny Rabbit Doesn’t Know It About to Get Cold Again
4 days ago4 days ago

OP-ED: You’ve Changed. An Open Letter to the Seasons

Nooz Staff10 years ago10 years ago03 mins

You’ve changed. You used to be cool, detached, stoic—cold, even—and that’s what I fell in love with when that first snowflake touched my tongue. But now you’re giving me a warmth that I’m not used to, and it’s like I don’t even know you anymore. So what I’m trying to say is, it’s not really…

Cornell Dairy Cows to Get Representative on Student Assembly

Nooz Staff10 years ago10 years ago02 mins

WILLARD STRAIGHT — In response to mounting calls for increased diversity on the Student Assembly, an open forum was hosted Wednesday to address the SA’s lack of bovine members from the Cornell Dairy. “I think it’s important that we have this discussion,” said At-Large Representative Jimmy Anderson ‘17, “The dairy cows are such an integral…