April 21, 2016

Climate Change Denier Kind of Enjoying Springfest Anyways

Nooz Staff10 years ago01 mins

This article was sponsored by SpringFest and the Cornell Environmental Collaborative. Springfest is being held on April 22nd from 11:00am to 3:00pm on Ho Plaza to celebrate Earth day and promote sustainability. HO PLAZA — Eating an organically grown meal from local farmers and listening to live music outside Willard Straight, climate change denier Darrel…

Read Full News

Ambitious Junior Limits Self to One Existential Crisis Per Day

Nooz Staff10 years ago02 mins

COLLEGETOWN COURT — Taking on a task that can only be described as sheer ambition, junior Psychology major Christine Kilbourne plans on limiting herself to no more than one existential crisis per day. “I spend a lot of time worrying about my future, and I realized that my panic attacks waste a good portion of…

Read Full News

Biology Major Stressed About Answers to Pre-Limbs

Only Minority in Friend Group Already Knows Who She Going to Be

Ambitious Group Project Member Needs To Take The Fucking Hint

Motivational Message Etched Into Library Desk Undermined By Penis Right Beneath It

Polycule Sex Cult Still Calling Itself “Co-Op”

Cornell Announces “Raw Chicken Wednesdays” to Slim Down Large Freshman Class

Americans Defeat Fascism by Putting On Greatest Talent Show This Nation Has Ever Seen

Mamdani Debates Cuomo As World War I Flying Ace Curtis Sliwa Dogfights Infamous Red Baron

Pre-Annotated Library Book Tells Student Exactly What Important

Professor Getting All Excited About Life’s Work Again

Climate Change Denier Kind of Enjoying Springfest Anyways

Ambitious Junior Limits Self to One Existential Crisis Per Day