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Biology Major Stressed About Answers to Pre-Limbs 
Student Who Chose Cornell For Top 12 Ranking Forced to Transfer
Your Friend Who Happens to Have a Car is Actually Funniest, Coolest, Most Attractive Person Ever
Kotlikoff Frustrated by Inability to Send Nationwide Email
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Biology Major Stressed About Answers to Pre-Limbs 
Student Who Chose Cornell For Top 12 Ranking Forced to Transfer
Your Friend Who Happens to Have a Car is Actually Funniest, Coolest, Most Attractive Person Ever
Kotlikoff Frustrated by Inability to Send Nationwide Email
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • CU NoozMagazine
    • Spring 2026 Issue
    • Spring 2025 Issue
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
Headlines

Biology Major Stressed About Answers to Pre-Limbs 

5 hours ago5 hours ago

Only Minority in Friend Group Already Knows Who She Going to Be

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Ambitious Group Project Member Needs To Take The Fucking Hint

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Motivational Message Etched Into Library Desk Undermined By Penis Right Beneath It

11 months ago11 months ago

Polycule Sex Cult Still Calling Itself “Co-Op”

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Cornell Announces “Raw Chicken Wednesdays” to Slim Down Large Freshman Class

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Americans Defeat Fascism by Putting On Greatest Talent Show This Nation Has Ever Seen

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Mamdani Debates Cuomo As World War I Flying Ace Curtis Sliwa Dogfights Infamous Red Baron

12 months ago

Pre-Annotated Library Book Tells Student Exactly What Important

12 months ago7 months ago

Professor Getting All Excited About Life’s Work Again

12 months ago12 months ago
  • Home
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  • 24

October 24, 2016

  • Uncategorized

Campus Squirrel Contemplates Digging 1,500 Small Holes

Nooz Staff10 years ago01 mins

TOWER ROAD — Speedily rubbing its paws together and darting its tail this way and that, an indecisive campus squirrel reportedly contemplated whether or not to dig over one thousand small holes in the ground. “Those woodchips over there look pretty easy to move around. I could probably dig a few holes by that tree…

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  • Uncategorized

Campus Breathes Sigh of Relief as Football Team Loses Third Straight Game

Nooz Staff10 years ago01 mins

ARTS QUAD – Members of the Cornell community breathed a collective sigh of relief as the varsity football team lost its third straight game, to Brown, following a 3-0 start to the season. “It was tense there for a while, especially after that third win,” said Jake Gordon ’19, “but I knew the team would…

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