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March 13, 2026
  • “It’s 6 O’clock Somewhere”: Upperclassman Begs to Not Pay Bus Fare
  • CTB Declares War on Qahwah House, Fires 300 Espresso Shots
  • Wikipedia Page of Esteemed Professor Currently Flunking You Not Even, Like, That Long
  • “These Hands Don’t Haze!” Says Frat President Who Used Legs to Kick Shit Out of Pledges
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  • “It’s 6 O’clock Somewhere”: Upperclassman Begs to Not Pay Bus Fare

    3 hours ago3 hours ago
  • CTB Declares War on Qahwah House, Fires 300 Espresso Shots

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  • Wikipedia Page of Esteemed Professor Currently Flunking You Not Even, Like, That Long

    1 day ago1 day ago
  • “These Hands Don’t Haze!” Says Frat President Who Used Legs to Kick Shit Out of Pledges

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April 13, 2017

  • Uncategorized

Joe Biden Shotguns Beer to Celebrate Convocation Speaker Announcement

Nooz Staff9 years ago01 mins

After weeks of rumors and speculation over who would give the Cornell convocation address at this year’s graduation, the 2017 Convocation Committee announced today that former Vice President of the United States Joe Biden would be the selected speaker, to which Mr. Biden responded by immediately shotgunning a beer. “Cornell Convocation 2017! Get ready to…

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  • Uncategorized

Career Service Counselor Googles “Available Internships in NYC”

Nooz Staff9 years ago9 years ago02 mins

GOLDWIN SMITH HALL— After listening attentively to junior Kate Hill’s plea for help with her failing search for summer internships, Career Service Counselor Darrell Lange opened a new window on his browser and Googled “Available internships in NYC.” “Let’s see what we have here that might be useful to you,” said Lange, carefully squinting at…

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