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May 13, 2026
  • Cornell Christian Club Turns Rain into Wine Tour
  • Kotlikoff Carefully Maneuvers Around Key Detail at Day Hall Incident
  • “I Overcame a Lot of Diversity to be Here,” Says White Dude in Discussion Section
  • Student Accused of Using AI Forced to Defend Worst Discussion Post Ever
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  • Cornell Christian Club Turns Rain into Wine Tour

    2 days ago2 days ago
  • Kotlikoff Carefully Maneuvers Around Key Detail at Day Hall Incident

    1 week ago1 week ago
  • “I Overcame a Lot of Diversity to be Here,” Says White Dude in Discussion Section

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  • Despotic Senior Declines to Answer Whether They’ll Seek Third Term as Club President

    12 months ago12 months ago
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  • 2018
  • March
  • Page 3

March 2018

  • Uncategorized

University Just Cancels Class Because It Didn’t Do The Reading

Nooz Staff8 years ago02 mins

DAY HALL—After pulling an all-nighter and taking two prelims this week, the exhausted University has decided to just cancel class because it didn’t do the reading. “Usually I just squeeze out some state-of-the-art bullshit for participation credit, but fuck it—I’m so done with this semester,” said the University while getting ready to go out for…

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Five Missing in Amazon After Latest IFC Jungle Juice Gathering Expedition

Nooz Staff8 years ago02 mins

AMAZON RAINFOREST, BRAZIL—Tragedy struck the IFC last week when five students failed to return from the organization’s annual mission to collect the increasingly scarce jungle juice. “While we mourn the loss of our fellow brothers, we know their tragedy was not in vain. Each cooler we fill with the sweet jungle nectar this semester will…

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