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Wednesday, October 21, 2026
“I’ll See You In Court”: Student Mistakes CKB Resident’s Invitation As Legal Threat
Morrison Stir-Fry Station Switches to Cup & Ball Scam for Food Pickup
Cornell President Warns Replacing President Would Harm Cornell, Cornell President
Halloween Enthusiast Disappointed by Ithaca Wine & Spirits
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“I’ll See You In Court”: Student Mistakes CKB Resident’s Invitation As Legal Threat
Morrison Stir-Fry Station Switches to Cup & Ball Scam for Food Pickup
Cornell President Warns Replacing President Would Harm Cornell, Cornell President
Halloween Enthusiast Disappointed by Ithaca Wine & Spirits
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • CU NoozMagazine
    • Spring 2026 Issue
    • Spring 2025 Issue
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
Headlines

“I’ll See You In Court”: Student Mistakes CKB Resident’s Invitation As Legal Threat

8 hours ago8 hours ago

Morrison Stir-Fry Station Switches to Cup & Ball Scam for Food Pickup

1 day ago1 day ago

Cornell President Warns Replacing President Would Harm Cornell, Cornell President

1 day ago1 day ago

Halloween Enthusiast Disappointed by Ithaca Wine & Spirits

5 days ago5 days ago

Throbbing Hangover Headache Met With 7:45 A.M. Clocktower Rendition of “Here Comes The Sun”

6 days ago6 days ago

“You Know, Too Much Sleep Is Actually Bad For You,” Student Tells Person-Shaped Bush

1 week ago1 week ago

“Yeah I Was in the Hood,” Says Rich White Biology Student Misleadingly Talking About Fume Hood

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

Inconsiderate Asshole With No Concept of Personal Space Sits Within 5 Seats of You in Lecture Hall

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

Inhabitants of Local Valley Starting to Regret Construction of Hole-in-the-wall Restaurant in Hydroelectric Dam

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago
matty van hooty

Tompkins County DA Relieved to Go Back to Dismissing Other Cases

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago
  • Home
  • 2020
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  • 16

September 16, 2020

  • Uncategorized

OP-ED: I Am the Door Handle at 7-Eleven and I Will Kill You and Your Roommates

Nooz Staff6 years ago02 mins

COLLEGETOWN—I am death incarnate. Bringer of pestilence, taker of freedom. One touch, followed by a brief nose scratch, and you will be in the hospital, your friends quarantined. You are just another pawn in my master plan. On the surface, I may look like an innocent door handle. It’s true; a year ago today I…

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