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Professor Spices Up Syllabus With Jokes Like “Attendance is Mandatory”
Outfit Shabby Enough to Do Work in Math Library Today
Super Seniors Devastated to Learn of “No Game” in Freshman Dorms
Dank Puddle Reaches Critical Mass Seconds Before TCAT Plows Through
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Professor Spices Up Syllabus With Jokes Like “Attendance is Mandatory”
Outfit Shabby Enough to Do Work in Math Library Today
Super Seniors Devastated to Learn of “No Game” in Freshman Dorms
Dank Puddle Reaches Critical Mass Seconds Before TCAT Plows Through
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • CU NoozMagazine
    • Spring 2026 Issue
    • Spring 2025 Issue
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
Headlines

Professor Spices Up Syllabus With Jokes Like “Attendance is Mandatory”

2 days ago2 days ago

Outfit Shabby Enough to Do Work in Math Library Today

2 days ago2 days ago

Super Seniors Devastated to Learn of “No Game” in Freshman Dorms

3 days ago3 days ago

Worst Guy You Know Looking For Manic Pixie Tylenol Users

11 months ago11 months ago

Wasian Student Association To Host Mixer

11 months ago6 months ago

Dumb Friend Finds New Way to Pronounce La Colombe

11 months ago11 months ago

Graph Theory Professor Planning Trip to North Campus Stumped by Odd Number of Bridges

11 months ago11 months ago

Guy Looking to Blow $100,000 Can’t Decide Between H-1B Visa or One Year of Cornell Tuition

12 months ago

ExxonMobil Exec Promises Net-Zero Emissions By End of World

12 months ago11 months ago

Collegetown Boba Cafe Opens Next to Collegetown Boba Cafe, Under Collegetown Boba Cafe

12 months ago12 months ago
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  • 25

November 25, 2020

  • Uncategorized

OP-ED: This Thanksgiving, I’d Like to Thank God For Blessing Me With Such a Fat Juicy Pussy

Nooz Staff6 years ago6 years ago02 mins

Thanksgiving is a day in which friends and family give their thanks for all that they are grateful for. This year, I plan on expressing a huge thank you to God for gifting me with an invaluable asset: a succulent, sizable, stank-ass pussy.  When forging me from his flesh, God decided to direct any weight…

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  • Uncategorized

Freshman Departs Campus For Winter Break With Box Of Condoms Still Unopened

Nooz Staff6 years ago02 mins

DONLON HALL—Per sources close to the situation, the bulk-sized box of condoms purchased in August by freshman Isaac Moore at a Costco remained completely unused at the onset of winter break three months later. “When I first moved in, he showed me the box of rubbers almost immediately and asked me if I thought he’d…

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