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Thursday, September 24, 2026
Career Fair Recruiter Commends Engineering Student’s Innovative Self-Shredding Resume
Disintegrating Professor Gives Mitch McConnell-Esque Peace Sign Before Prelim
OP-ED: I Right You Wrong Here Why
CTB Barista Announces “Big Fat Chungus Sweetberry Surprise” is Ready at the Bar
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Career Fair Recruiter Commends Engineering Student’s Innovative Self-Shredding Resume
Disintegrating Professor Gives Mitch McConnell-Esque Peace Sign Before Prelim
OP-ED: I Right You Wrong Here Why
CTB Barista Announces “Big Fat Chungus Sweetberry Surprise” is Ready at the Bar
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • CU NoozMagazine
    • Spring 2026 Issue
    • Spring 2025 Issue
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
Headlines

Career Fair Recruiter Commends Engineering Student’s Innovative Self-Shredding Resume

3 hours ago3 hours ago

Disintegrating Professor Gives Mitch McConnell-Esque Peace Sign Before Prelim

2 days ago2 days ago

OP-ED: I Right You Wrong Here Why

3 days ago3 days ago

CTB Barista Announces “Big Fat Chungus Sweetberry Surprise” is Ready at the Bar

5 days ago5 days ago

Mirror Tired of Hearing “I Am A Unique, Talented Writer” Every Morning From Daily Sun Journalist

6 days ago6 days ago

Sprint Football Loses to Faster, More Reliable Verizon Football 

1 week ago1 week ago
Rush Hashanah

Rush Hashanah!: Fraternity Acknowledges High Holidays by Ensuring All Cocaine is Kosher

1 week ago1 week ago

Mama’s Cleverest Boy Stumped by Strange Clothes-Washing Machine

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

Cornell Republican Sheds Red Nose and Polka Dot Romper, Slinks into Suit for Rare ClubFest Metamorphosis

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

English Department Receives $12 Grant

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago
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November 25, 2020

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OP-ED: This Thanksgiving, I’d Like to Thank God For Blessing Me With Such a Fat Juicy Pussy

Nooz Staff6 years ago6 years ago02 mins

Thanksgiving is a day in which friends and family give their thanks for all that they are grateful for. This year, I plan on expressing a huge thank you to God for gifting me with an invaluable asset: a succulent, sizable, stank-ass pussy.  When forging me from his flesh, God decided to direct any weight…

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  • Uncategorized

Freshman Departs Campus For Winter Break With Box Of Condoms Still Unopened

Nooz Staff6 years ago02 mins

DONLON HALL—Per sources close to the situation, the bulk-sized box of condoms purchased in August by freshman Isaac Moore at a Costco remained completely unused at the onset of winter break three months later. “When I first moved in, he showed me the box of rubbers almost immediately and asked me if I thought he’d…

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