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Sunday, October 25, 2026
Press Secretary’s White House Speedrun Beats Time for Escaping Ives Speedrun
Empty Beer Can Crushed, Devastated
Vote of No Continence? Kotlikoff Shits Pants
Uris Hall Excited to Announce New 0 Ply Toilet Paper
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Press Secretary’s White House Speedrun Beats Time for Escaping Ives Speedrun
Empty Beer Can Crushed, Devastated
Vote of No Continence? Kotlikoff Shits Pants
Uris Hall Excited to Announce New 0 Ply Toilet Paper
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • CU NoozMagazine
    • Spring 2026 Issue
    • Spring 2025 Issue
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
Headlines

Press Secretary’s White House Speedrun Beats Time for Escaping Ives Speedrun

1 day ago1 day ago

Empty Beer Can Crushed, Devastated

2 days ago2 days ago

Vote of No Continence? Kotlikoff Shits Pants

3 days ago3 days ago

Uris Hall Excited to Announce New 0 Ply Toilet Paper

3 days ago3 days ago

“I’ll See You In Court”: Student Mistakes CKB Resident’s Invitation As Legal Threat

3 days ago3 days ago

Morrison Stir-Fry Station Switches to Cup & Ball Scam for Food Pickup

4 days ago4 days ago

Cornell President Warns Replacing President Would Harm Cornell, Cornell President

5 days ago5 days ago

Halloween Enthusiast Disappointed by Ithaca Wine & Spirits

1 week ago1 week ago

Throbbing Hangover Headache Met With 7:45 A.M. Clocktower Rendition of “Here Comes The Sun”

1 week ago1 week ago

“You Know, Too Much Sleep Is Actually Bad For You,” Student Tells Person-Shaped Bush

1 week ago1 week ago
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  • 31

October 31, 2023

  • Halloween

Fakest, Nastiest Bitch You Know Dressed As Angel Instead of Devil

Nooz Staff3 years ago8 months ago02 mins

SPIRIT HALLOWEEN—One lying cunt notoriously stands out among the student body as the absolute fakest, nastiest bitch to crawl the earth. This fugly, complete skank was shopping for a slutty Halloween disguise when she was spotted strutting right past the devil horn section to snatch a fluffy angel halo from the hands of an innocent…

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