Skip to content
February 20, 2026
  • “Unfortunately, We Had Many Qualified Candidates,” Sings A Capella Group At 2am Outside Your Window
  • Coefficient of Kinetic Friction Between You and Gray Slush Says Eat Shit Nerd
  • Bing Chilling? February Break Spent Celebrating Chinese New Year In Auspicious Binghamton Getaway
  • “Close Enough” Match Pairs Hundreds of Proximity-Based Situationships
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
  • CU NoozMagazine | Spring 2025 Issue
Headlines
  • “Unfortunately, We Had Many Qualified Candidates,” Sings A Capella Group At 2am Outside Your Window

    1 day ago1 day ago
  • Coefficient of Kinetic Friction Between You and Gray Slush Says Eat Shit Nerd

    2 days ago2 days ago
  • Bing Chilling? February Break Spent Celebrating Chinese New Year In Auspicious Binghamton Getaway

    3 days ago3 days ago
  • “Close Enough” Match Pairs Hundreds of Proximity-Based Situationships

    1 week ago1 week ago
  • Trendy Multicolored Scarf No Match for Arctic Windchill

    1 week ago1 week ago
  • Hazing Club Suspended For Paperwork Issue

    1 week ago1 week ago
  • Home
  • 2025
  • April
  • 7

April 7, 2025

  • Spring Break

OP-ED: Pwease Mistuh Pwofessuh Don’t Mark Me Absent My Pwivate Pwane Got In Really Really Late Last Night

Nooz Staff11 months ago11 months ago03 mins

A BED WITH A WHITE DUVET—God gives its toughest battles to its stwongest warriors, so obviously I’m like a war hero or something because I had to overcome quite the stwuggle last night. You see, usually Daddy and I waltz right on to Philbert, which is what we named our pwivate jet, but before we…

Read More
You're never going to believe this but "This organization is a registered student organization of Cornell University." Newsmatic - News WordPress Theme 2026. Powered By BlazeThemes.